Elliot Thresher

Opening Day video: Chicago's #1 Cubs fan (or at least the drunkest)

2011-04-11T12:18:00.001-05:00

A good way to celebrate coming back to blogging...and baseball season.

Opening Day: The Cubs biggest fan from WBEZ on Vimeo.

It's fun to play the "Would you hit it?" game with hot messes like this chick. Can't see her body too much, but she's got butterface for sure. Clearly, she's primed to party (sleeping under bar tables is not for the weak of heart, stomach or mind...), even if a "hot guy game for anything" is married, as long as he knows the kind car he drives (I know you'd say "Porshe" you horny scumbag) and has a ticket for her. I'm married, so I wouldn't "hit it." If I were single, I still don't think I would. Henneman is strictly "a 2AM, the bar is closing, I'm going through a dry-spell and need it to end" kind of woman.

I shouldn't talk this way about a woman with such a sharp political intellect. And for those of you thinking she has a drinking problem, I'll defend her by saying she is trying to find a ride home so as to not drink and drive. She has brains for business and a bod for...

...sleeping under Hi-Tops' tables (you know that's where she was!).

2011

2010-12-30T13:41:00.002-06:00

I've been out of commission most of 2010. Hoping 2011 gets more attention on here. Happy new year!

US Politics: same as usual

2010-01-14T13:57:00.003-06:00

I can't believe THESE are the kind of people who are vying to lead our country. No wonder our country is slowly going down the toilet...so sad. We have no chance.

Was it true, Lauer asked, that the vetting of Sarah Palin was so woefully inadequate that no one from the campaign traveled to Alaska to interview her husband or any of her political opponents?

"I wouldn't know," McCain said. "The fact is that I'm proud of Sarah Palin, I'm proud of the campaign we waged, she energized our party, she will be a major factor in American politics in the future, and I'm proud of our campaign."

Somewhat taken aback, Lauer told McCain that he found it "somewhat surprising" that he didn't know anything about the vetting process, adding "You were the presidential candidate."

McCain testily shot back by saying that he had no intention of "looking back over what happened over a year ago," adding, "I'm sorry, you'll have to get others to comment on it."

From the new book 'Game Change' by New York magazine's John Heilemann and Time Magazine's Mark Halperin:

- that the affair between John Edwards and his campaign videographer was known about and kept quiet by three of his aides from early on. Edwards comes off in the book as a man with a massive ego and delusional tendencies. His wife Elizabeth is described by insiders as being "an abusive, intrusive, paranoid condescending crazywoman."

- that former President Bill Clinton was involved in an affair in 2006 that many thought would derail Hillary Clinton's run for the presidency and he offended Ted Kennedy deeply while trying to win his endorsement for his wife's campaign by saying the following about then-candidate Obama: "A few years ago, this guy would have been getting us coffee."

- that Sarah Palin believed Saddam Hussein to be behind the attacks on 9/11, didn't understand why North and South Korea were separate (the Korean War) and that she could not properly pronounce Joe Biden's name. The book contends that Palin was a mentally unstable person prone to wild mood swings, describing her being hopelessly lost in a "catatonic stupor" at one point during the campaign.

Pants on the Ground

2010-01-14T13:33:00.004-06:00

Genius! This better be released as record, cause it'll go ~~platinum~~ brass for sure. Funniest thing I've seen on TV in a while. Haven't cried from laughing so hard in a looooooong time.

10 corrections needed for "hot" TV shows right now.

2009-12-31T10:15:00.004-06:00

I thought this is a great, quick analysis of some of the "hot" shows on TV right now and how they're starting to veer off their "hot" paths...

I'd like to add that Modern Family and Cougar Town not try to introduce too many more new characters. Guest stars are fine occasionally ala Friends, but we don't need any more characters. Use the ones you've got in the stories. And no babies!!!!

AND PLEASE...LET LOST END WITH ANSWERS!

Wireless bandwidth getting crowded.

2009-12-31T10:11:00.001-06:00

This is just crazy, that wireless has taken off like this, in average households:

...consumers are flocking to wireless Internet connections, in some cases dropping landline accounts altogether. ABI Research projects U.S. mobile broadband subscriptions will climb to 150 million by 2014, up from 48 million this year and 5 million in 2007.

Tiger Wood's "indefinitely" leaves golf; fellow golfers ectsatic

2009-12-14T09:28:00.003-06:00

Tiger Woods is gone...for now, from the golf pro tour. Tiger's fellow golfers are happy for multiple reasons. Not only did they think he was a major jerk, but now the winnings are actually open to other golfers again. Who knew Tiger competing for the attention of hos would increase competition for the pros!

Facebook death like Samurai: seppuku Seppukoo

2009-12-14T09:14:00.003-06:00

This sounds pretty cool...basically dying honorably in cyberspace. However, knowing me, I'd have to go back on Facebook to reconnect with someone and then I'd have to rebuild my profile all over again.

While I aim to be honorable, I'm much more lazy.

Jersey Shore not convincing that "guido" is term to be proud of

2009-12-14T09:00:00.002-06:00

Party poopers. They're all just hating on "The Situation."

And Domino's has some nerve. If Jersey Shore isn't "in keeping with what they're all about," then maybe they should only advertise on Christian tv programs (since they support "Operation Rescue") to promote "what they're about."

Future fees for iPhone apps!

2009-12-09T21:31:00.001-06:00

An AT&T exec stated on 12/9/09 that iPhone data usage could become more restrictive in order to provide better service overall. Basically, AT&T is saying "Thanks for getting hooked on our hip product, but now we're going to charge you fees to use it because our service sucks." Nice.

Consumer Reports agrees:

Yet, both Apple and AT&T encourage iPhone owners to use more of those bandwidth-hogging features.

AT&T cares about dropped calls? Probably not.

2009-12-08T08:47:00.003-06:00

They just have to seem like they care so people won't jump ship from iPhone to Droid or Windows OS phones.

Just call them iLousy. iPhone now had an app (now there really IS an app for everything...) to report their faulty service with dropped phone calls. The irony is the dropped calls aren't because of iPhones. It's AT&T's lousy coverage. So, what recourse is there for AT&T customers who are not iPhone users, with dropped calls? None, because AT&T doesn't care about you. Just your friends with iPhones who may see that newer technologies are on the horizon for smartphones. Hopefully Apple won't steal them and roll production ahead of time!

End of a Millenium Decade

2009-12-08T08:40:00.003-06:00

I completely didn't think about this being the end of the beginning of the Millenium. Yahoo has an article kind of stating what impressions were overall for the beginning os the 2000's. I'm mainly posting this because I remember Y2K being a freaked out thought and now it seems like ages ago.

Tiger Woods Saturday Night Live Skit

2009-12-08T08:33:00.005-06:00

Palin courting anti-abortion votes

2009-12-05T13:51:00.004-06:00

An article on Palin pimping out her Down syndrome son to ~~gain possible future votes for the next Presidential election~~ lobby against abortion rights.

Seriously, why can't I stop reading about her? There's something wrong with me.

Operation: Guido Fist Pump?

2009-12-05T13:48:00.003-06:00

The only acceptable fist pumping: soldiers in Iraq. And that's only becuase there's nothing to do in a desert and they need to keep their sense of humor.

Jersey Shore (aka The Real World: Seaside)

2009-12-05T12:32:00.007-06:00

Will the rest of the world now think Americans are guidos instead of cowboys?

Being from Jersey originally, I know the real name for this shore town is Sleazeside. MTV has started a new show ~~for guidos and guidettes to get drunk and horny with each other~~ to show what ~~young Italians do to perpetuate stereotyping~~ living in a Jersey shorehouse is like. Of course, I'm hooked alrady, line and sinker in mouth!

My interest in the show differs from most people, however. Whereas most of this country (and maybe the world?) is watching this weekly trainwreck thinking "there's no way people actually look, talk and act like that," I'm watching thinking "I went to school with these nutjobs." I can attest that this show is for real and these people do act this way on a daily basis. This is how the Jersey shore lays out every summer when a bunch of young people whore it up on the weekends with like-minded nutjobs. Thus why the most popular shore town for partying earned the nickname "Sleazeside," instead of Seaside.

Whereas I always wanted to leave New Jersey to get away from these personalities, watching this show is a small taste of revisiting the past without having to actually go back. I can practically smell the Sambuca and taste the saltwater taffy all over again!

What's sad is I now find cheesy guido tees funny instead of a warning for a meat looking for a fight on the boardwalk:

And finally: fist pumping to the Total Eclipse of the Heart club remix kinda says it all:

Guido = Douchebag

Obama surrounded by idiots?

2009-12-05T12:19:00.003-06:00

So I think we all knew this Presidency would be the complete opposite of the last Presidency, especially since Obama was voted in under the theme of "change." But it's starting to be very interesting to see the ways in which the "opposite nature" of his leadership is being revealed.

At a recent White House press corps debriefing, the White House Secretary chastised a reporter for following-up on the "white house party crashers" issue and wondering if someone within the White House (other than the Secret Service) may have been to blame. Here's the video:

What's interesting is how Bush and his cronies used to get pissy over national agenda and the questioning of their stalwart stance towards that agenda. Now Obama and his cronies get pissy over social agenda and their lack of organization.

What's also represetnative of the inherent difference in Presidencies is who make up these "cronies." Whereas it is assumed that President Bush was a figurehead who alllowed his political team to run the country and make decisions, President Obama clearly has surrounded himself with less intelligent and less reliable staffers.

It's going to be an interesting 4 years!

Happy Turkey Day!

2009-11-26T22:28:00.003-06:00

I got some pie!!

Some 400 years ago, pilgrims sat down with ~~indians~~ ~~Native Americans~~ people indiginous to North America and ate delicious foods, right before giving them blankets with small pox. Isn't it ironic that we now give thanks in rememberance of giving indians disease and killing their people?

Well, the point is, as Americans, we give thanks on this day for all of the blessings we have in life. I must say I'm pretty lucky to have wonderful, healthy and happy people in my life who make me feel wonderful and happy. Note, I didn't say healthy, since I ate like a freaking pig today and am so stuffed all I've eaten since Thanksgiving dinner is tums and water. So worth it though.

For non-Americans, it is a day to drink. In abundance. OK, us Americans do that today too. About the only thing you can't do on today is have sex because most of us feel too fat or too drunk to do so.

Thanksgiving ruined? No pumpkin pie?!!!

2009-11-20T13:13:00.002-06:00

Yes, you read the title correctly. Word on the pumkinvine is there won't be enough pumpkin pie to go around this year and we'll have to give thanks for sweet potato pie. Oh the humanity.

No, but seriously. How ironic is it the organic pumpkins yielded a better crop than mass production?

Scotch on ice

2009-11-18T22:06:00.005-06:00

Now this is an expedition I can get behind. Save the whiskey! Indiana Jones was always trying to save arks, crosses and artifacts. Booze should've been his priority all along.

I think it should be a world initiative to shift all of the fossil and religious artifact hunters to help find the booze at the bottom of the arctic sea!

Palin and Prejean go Jezebel!

2009-11-18T21:47:00.003-06:00

Jezebel.com posted a great write-up on the parallels between Sarah Palin and Carrie Prejean. See this link to "Palinizing" Prejean, Prejeanizing Palin: Two Conservative Women Look Out For #1." Here's my favorite part of their analysis:

Neither Palin nor Prejean seem to understand that while they ask America to sympathize with their victimization, they're also asking us to support policies that victimize others. Prejean's views on gay marriage and Palin's beliefs about reproductive rights (and welfare, and healthcare reform) aim to restrict people's freedom to live the way they want. To espouse these views while complaining about handlers who try to rein them in and reporters who criticize them reveals a staggering egocentrism.

Well, don't all ~~conservative, selfish~~ great famewhores think alike?!

Going "Ho"gue: How Sarah Palin still doesn't get it

2009-11-17T21:45:00.003-06:00

Like any hard-working famewhore, Sarah Palin has a book to pimp out. She's putting on her ~~tired Joe-sixpack "I'm just like you" fake persona~~ heels and doing her best trick strut to hit the ~~cold Alaskan street corners~~ airwaves and pages for interviews. Lucky for us, POLITICO got ahold of Palin's book before it's spun to death. They put together some snippets and paraphrasing from the book which I'd like to add my own spin to:

John and Cindy McCain receive fulsome praise throughout the book from Palin, him as a brave American hero and her as a mix of elegant lady and Every Mom.

An American hero who Palin was more than happy to step over in order to gain popularity. And nothing says everyday mom like a spoiled rich pill popper, right ~~Governor beauty queen~~ Sarah?

Taking issue with what she said was Schmidt’s attempt to get her a nutritionist, Palin observes: “As he lectured, I looked at his rotund physique and noted that he used nicotine to keep his own cognitive connections humming along.”

I love how judgemental Palin can be one minute and yet ask for sympathy when the mirror is turned on her. How old was your daughter in the MySpace photos showing her drinking? How much did you sell the previous governor's airplane for? How was your brother-in-law fired as a cop again?

“This picture says it all,” Palin writes in the caption. “A dark hotel room in Philadelphia and a frustrated Mark Wallace trying to tell me which of his non-answers I should give during debate prep.”

Sarah, your debating was all fluff! Without those non-answers, you had nothing. If you'd listen to McCain's camp, you may have actually of won your debates. Christ, the times you "went rogue," you sounded like an idiot. And onto the Katie Couric issue...

Palin accuses Couric of having gone easier on Democratic vice presidential nominee Joe Biden, and twice claims that the newswoman’s own clothing stylist was actually part of the team hired by the GOP to outfit the vice-presidential candidate for the campaign.

Yes, this is true. Instead of asking Joe Biden where he gets his news, she asked him his favorite color.

I unfriended her when I was funemployed because she was always sexting while intexticated and she was a choice mom birther.

2009-11-17T20:53:00.004-06:00

The word of the year by the New Oxford American Dictionary is "unfriend." So basically, if you don't have a Facebook account, you don't know what the word of the year means. Brilliant. I gt how these words of the years announcements always seem to hiighlight the buzzworthy words in the lexicon, but are these truly words that anyone will remember in 5 to 10 years? Does anyone actually use these words? Here's a list of other words that seem hip and cool to New Oxford American Dictionary but will probably get you ~~an azz beating~~ a strange look from people when uttered aloud:

tramp stamp: (wasn't this coined years ago?) when a women puts a bullseye on her back...see above photo for example

funemployed: when someone gets fired and can't get hired anywhere else, they watch bad tv and read books

sexting: sluts texting sluts

deleb: a dead celebrity (I think this one was made up...)

hashtag: something to do with twitter

freemium: making getting something for free sound dorky

choice mom: the PC way of saying single mom

intexticated: texting while driving?

birther: someone who thinks Obama was born outside of the U.S.

Bad sex

2009-11-15T21:45:00.003-06:00

You know the sex scene in a movie is bad when it makes you rethink why you were looking forward to the movie in the first (bascially for the sex scenes). Here's a list of movies who fit this category perfectly. I'd like to add Basic Instinct 2 while we're at it! Whatta waste.

Subway $5 foot-longs a fluke

2009-11-15T21:38:00.002-06:00

Interesting article explaining how the Subway chain came up with their successful $5 foot-long campaign from franchises who were innovative and cheap.

Sarah Palin on Oprah

2009-11-12T22:42:00.004-06:00

Here's Carrie Prejean's hero doing what she does best! Er, what is that exactly? Looking and sounding like a moron, of course! Below is a clip of her saying no one knew (neither her nor her campaign) that her infamous interview with Katie Couric was something to be concerned about. Yeah, because saying you read "all of newspapers and magazines" to get your news is a savvy answer.

Oprah Asks Sarah Palin About Her Interview With Katie Couric @ Y! TV

How great is it that a dumb lumberjack, hockey bum is the father of her illegitimate grandchild and will now be showing his dong on film to make some cash for ~~knocking up other bitches~~ diapers and baby food? That sh*t just writes itself.

Prejean: a primadonna on Larry King

2009-11-12T22:11:00.004-06:00

Carie Prejean goes on Larry King with a book to promote and has a problem when he asks a legit questions that is in no way confidential ("What is your motivation for settling?"). Whether Carrie Prejean was unfairly treated during and after the Miss America pageant is debatable. (Personally, I don't fault her for her opinion on gay marriage and it was a loaded question.) However, her actions and the revelations from her personal life (skinhead brother, sex tape with an ex, etc.) have demonstrated that she's clearly not someone who should've been representing the USA in any way. And what bothers me the most about her (and many of her conservative counterparts) is her lack of accepting responsibility. She answered ~~stalwartly and boastfully~~ honestly at the pageant, but yet it is the media's fault. She made a sex tape, but ~~she's not a complete whore~~ it's not her fault. She sues for religious discrimination, but ~~she's a sanctimonious Aryan-nation slut~~ it's not her fault.

And of all people to pull this on: Larry King? Lady, you're not that big of a guest for him. And consider yourself lucky he asked those questions to keep your 15 minutes running. Being a dumb b*tch is the most interesting thing about you!

Droid to overtake iPhone?

2009-11-11T22:20:00.003-06:00

Based on recent write-ups, not likely anytime soon. But Droid seems like a good alternative if Apple and AT&T aren't for you (or me).

The basics:
Both the 16GB iPhone 3GS and the Motorola Droid (which goes on sale Nov. 6, and comes bundled with a bundled 16GB microSD memory card) sell for $199 with a two-year contract. (If you buy the Droid through Verizon, it's actually $299 with a $100 mail-in rebate; you can also get the Droid at Best Buy for $199, no mail-in rebate required). Each phone also requires a $30-month 3G service plan. Also, both phones come with Wi-Fi, Bluetooth, GPS, 3.5mm headset jacks, and (of course) 3G support.

Look and feel:
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, of course, so you'll have to decide for yourself which phone wins the most style points. Personally, I happen to prefer the iPhone's sleek lines, slim profile, and relatively light weight. But while the Droid is a bit sharper and boxier, it has a bigger (3.7-inch), sharper display, and at just 0.5 inches thick, it's the slimmest QWERTY slider I've ever laid eyes on. The Droid tips the scales at 6 ounces, nearly an ounce heavier than the iPhone, but it fits quite nicely in a jeans pocket.

Input method:
This one's pretty obvious. For the iPhone, you do all your tapping and messaging on the virtual, on-screen QWERTY keypad, while the Droid has a physical, slide-out QWERTY keypad. Which one's better? Well, that'll mainly depend on your preference. Personally, I've gotten so used to virtual keypads that I often found myself tapping on the Droid's screen even though I had a slide-out QWERTY at my disposal. Then again, at least you have a choice with the Droid; the iPhone, of course, has no physical keypad at all. That said, keep in mind that the keys on the Droid's roomy keypad are so flat that they're almost slippery; yes, you get used to it, but there's a learning curve. Winner: Tie

Interface:
Google's Android UI has come a long way in just a year, and with its speedy processor and first-on-the-market implementation of the new Android 2.0, the Droid does a great job of showing off what Android is capable of. I also love the Droid's ability under Android to let you add live widgets—be they for weather, sports, the music player, Facebook, or Twitter—to the phone's home screen, and arrange them in any way you so choose. But while the iPhone's interface isn't quite as flexible as the Droid's, it's unmatched at doing what it does. On the iPhone 3GS in particular, windows, menus, lists, and apps open smoothly and instantaneously, and you're never at a loss about what to do next. Peppy though it is, the Droid's UI still feels a big sluggish in comparison.

Calling:
The iPhone's touch-enabled calling interface couldn't be any easier to use, and it'll even wirelessly hook into your iCal contacts if you're willing to shell out $100 a year for a MobileMe subscription. But the Droid arrives with the ability to automatically pull in all your Google and Facebook contacts, for free, and you can also use the downloadable Google Voice app (still unavailable for iPhone) to receive calls from a single Google Voice number, as well as send free text messages and place cheap international calls. Then there's the issue of which network—AT&T or Verizon Wireless—you want to be on. Your mileage will vary depending on your coverage area, of course, but if I had a nickel for every call my AT&T-bound iPhone has dropped, well ... Winner: Droid

Music and video:
Yes, the Droid comes loaded with a basic music player, and there's also a free podcast application ("Listen") for download over the Android Marketplace, but neither can hold a candle to the iPhone's best-in-class, touch-enabled iPod player. And while the Droid packs in a streaming YouTube app, same as the iPhone, it doesn't come with a build-in video player—that you'll have to find (and probably pay for) via the Marketplace, (I prefer the 99-cent Act 1 Video player, by the way). Indeed, the Droid doesn't even support the streaming video clips on Verizon's V Cast service. The iPhone, on the other hand, plays video out of the box, and you can also rent movies or buy TV episodes over-the-air via iTunes. This one's a no-brainer.

Mapping and navigation:
You can't beat the iPhone's Google-powered Maps app when it comes to ease of use, smooth operation, and overall slickness (slickosity?), but the Droid's mapping features under Android 2.0 pack more punch. Not only do you get the same basic searching and point-to-point direction features, but you also get the digital compass-aided Street View (which automatically changes the Street View perspective depending on the direction in which you're holding the phone), layers for traffic, satellite view, transit lines, and Wikipedia, and—best of all—Google's new Navigation app with voice-aided, turn-by-turn directions, just like you'd expect from an in-car navigation system. Great stuff—and free, to boot. Equivalent GPS navigation apps for the iPhone, on the other hand, all come with either monthly fees, exorbitant price tags, or both.

Web browsing:
The Droid's solid, touch-enabled Web browser is nothing to sneeze at, and come next year, it's slated to add support for Flash-powered videos and embedded content. But the Droid's browser doesn't support such handy features as multi-touch gestures (for "pinching" or zooming text on a Web page, for example), and it's not immune to sudden crashes, jerky scrolling, or jumbled HTML rendering. Meanwhile, the iPhone's Web browser—Flash-less though it is, for now—makes for the smoothest, speediest, and most seamless browsing experience you'll find on a smartphone.

Camera:
The iPhone's middling camera has been its Achilles heel (or one of them, anyway) ever since it launched, and the iPhone 3GS's 3-megapixel, auto-focus snapper is only marginally better. The Droid, however, boasts a 5MP camera with auto-focus, a dual LED flash for night shots, and image stabilization, not to mention sharp (if not quite "DVD quality") video recording. The Droid's snapshots might not measure up to, say, the gorgeous photos you can get from the Nokia N97 or the Samsung Memoir on T-Mobile, but it easily bests the often-murky pictures that the iPhone cranks out, particularly in low-light conditions.

Messaging:
Pretty much an even playing field here, especially since AT&T finally enabled picture messaging for the iPhone. Both the Droid and the iPhone now support corporate Exchange accounts, not to mention push e-mail, Web accounts (like Gmail, of course, Yahoo!, AOL, etc.), and POP/IMAP mailboxes. Both handsets do threaded messaging for SMS and picture messages, but neither has a unified inbox for all your e-mail accounts and text messages (the Android- and MotoBlur-powered Motorola Cliq does, but the Droid doesn't).

Apps:
The Android Marketplace is undeniably growing at a steady clip, with about 10,000 free and paid apps now available for download, including some (like Google Voice) that you won't find on iTunes (or at least, not yet). But who are we kidding: Apple's App Store has close to one hundred thousand apps, including a wide selection of cutting-edge mobile games (Real Racing, Doom: Resurrection, F.A.S.T. Modern Combat: Sandstorm, for starters), productivity apps (like DataViz's Docs to Go), communication (Skype, now over 3G), social networking (Facebook, MySpace, Foursquare), sports, weather, navigation ... the list goes on. The Android Marketplace may be gaining momentum, but the App Store has a massive head start.

Battery life:
The iPhone's become notorious for its iffy battery life, and for good reason. There are days when my iPhone barely limps past dinnertime, and that's after only moderate use, and since the iPhone battery is sealed inside the case, you can't swap in a fresh one when you're on the road. The Droid, on the other hand, does has a user-replaceable battery, and its battery life is pretty solid; in my tests, it made it though nearly six hours of voice calls on a single charge. Watch out for those multitasking Android apps, though. I unwisely elected to allow IM+, an instant messaging application, to stay connected while the phone was asleep; an hour later, the red-hot Droid was burning a hole in my pocket, and its battery capacity had plunged to just 25 percent. Oops.

Cornell sex scandal

2009-11-11T21:58:00.004-06:00

A scandal broke last week where 2 employees at Cornell University accidentally sent a private email thread to the entire University. The big problem? It was an email thread detailing their affair with each other (both are separately married) and how little work they get donw during the day. Lazy sluts!

Click on the link to view the entire thread, which is quite entertaining, I must say. One of the gems emailed during their workday:

And I will be SO F*CKING HORNY after I get done SPANKING that FINE A*S of yours for hours, you’ll be FULL for a week after you swallow me! And I hear that C*M is an excellent source of protein, as well as other nutrients!!!

Class all the way! The link also shows a photo of ~~a gentleman and a lady~~ these two pathetic, white trash cheaters.

I can't decide what's more sad: reading how the woman is tired of her kids and her home life OR reading how much a grown man gets into being tickled. Seriously, this guy goes from bj to tickle torture every second he gets. True torture is knowing these two idiots were paid for six hours of freaky deaky forplay.

Clash of the Titans trailer

2009-11-11T21:41:00.002-06:00

This makes me think of saying "not your mom and dad's Clash of the Titans," except that I was a kid when it came out and am now old enough to have a kid saying "not my mom and dad's." Whatever. Looks like a coll updated remake.

Where's the robot owl though?!!!

Avatar trailer

2009-10-29T13:02:00.002-05:00

Is there free checking for crackheads?

2009-10-27T12:13:00.003-05:00

Ever wonder if your broker was smoking meth when he told you to invest? Well, he may have been. Or if not, he may just be laundering money for meth dealers. A Chicagoland bank was charged in laundering money for drug trafficking!

Hey, what's the interest on a meth laundered account? If it's higher than 6%, I'm switching banks! Hey, it's a bad economy out there. Follow the money.

Link between early television exposure and later problems with attention span?

2009-10-27T11:44:00.003-05:00

I do think kids are exposed way too early these days to television (and generations of ADHD kids are propagated), but blaming dvds for lazy parenting is an all new low. I mean, I've seen minivans on the road with infants in carriers watching tv in the backseat. (BTW, I notice because the carriers should be facing the other way, but don't get me started on those parental units.)

How is it a scam to sell dvds that at least try to be educational, since you're plopping your kid in front of the boob tube anyway?

Here Wii go again...

2009-10-27T11:24:00.001-05:00

Bud Light commercial you'll never see air...

2009-09-20T21:32:00.001-05:00

Tron Legacy begins 12/17/10!

2009-09-18T15:35:00.001-05:00

"Tron: Legacy" to be released on Dec. 17, 2010. In IMAX!!!

Newsflash: Bush doesn't know Jack Matt

2009-09-18T15:31:00.003-05:00

I love how Bush's cronies played the "I don't know you" card. Like when you hooked up with someone at closing time (we've all been there...) and then the next night you pretend not to know each other. Not sure why they're on the defensive. This ~~tell-nothing we already didn't know or suspect~~ tell-all book sounds boring.

100 TV and Movie Spoilers in under 5 minutes!

2009-09-18T09:09:00.002-05:00

I thought this was pretty good. I've seen most of these movies and shows, but there were a couple that I never saw, never probably will and always wondered what the fuss was about. Perfect! Now I don't have to see them.

I also liked these videos because they actually helped sum up the points of movies I never really understood. American Psycho was a dream, that makes sense finally. Blair takes over Mrs. Garrett's job, makes sense. OK, well here you go:

Top Sci-Fi movies list

2009-09-17T22:29:00.003-05:00

I found a list of the top 100 sci-fi films of all time. It's pretty comprehensive and made me appreciate how many of the these movies I've seen again and again. Click the link to see the entire 100, but here's my top 10 from their list (including Total SciFi Online's write-ups):

1) Aliens (1986)
James Cameron cleverly eschewed aping the original, and instead upped the alien quotient and delivered one of the most purely exciting films ever made. But this is no brainless actioner. Cameron waits almost an hour before the acid-blooded xenomorphs make an appearance, while the film transformed Ripley into a bona fide iconic action heroine. There’s also a memorable selection of supporting characters (Hicks, Hudson, Newt, Vasquez) and instantly quotable dialogue (“game over man!”).

2) Tron (1982)
Tron was ignored for many years, but is now widely accepted as a genre landmark, combining stunning – and unique – computer graphics in an effectively simple story of programmers battling inside an electronic world. The long-awaited sequel, Tron Legacy, is expected in 2010.

3) The Matrix (1999)
The Wachowski Brothers’ movie had it all: groundbreaking ‘flo-mo’ battles, ice cool characters, nods to spaghetti westerns and a large dose of cod philosophy, in an innovative, much-loved actioner. Even the lame sequels can’t detract from the film’s ingenuity.

4) Predator (1987)
A sci-fi spin on the slasher template, this sees an alien hunter stalk a bunch of commandos in the Central American jungle. But the extra-terrestrial menace doesn’t bank on dealing with the Austrian Oak… One of Arnie’s best 80s actioners, this is exciting stuff, tightly directed by John McTiernan. Plus you get some fine Arnie quips (“Knock knock!”) and the chance to have fun trying to spot Carl Weathers’ real arm tied behind his back as it’s blasted off.

5) Return of the Jedi (1983)
OK, so the Ewoks and abrupt death of Boba Fett continue to divide opinion, but ROTJ contains more memorable sequences than most movies could dream of: Luke’s battle against the Rancor monster; the Sarlacc’s pit; the speeder bike chase and a fitting conclusion.

6) Blade Runner (1982)
Like many of the movies on this list, Blade Runner was not a critical or commercial success on its initial release. Some critics at the time simply dismissed it as style over substance. Yet, along with its unforgettable depiction of a neon-lit LA that is essentially a mash-up of Western and Eastern cultures, Ridley Scott’s film is backed up by a real sense of sadness, fear and longing, and an often overlooked wry humour. As Deckard, Harrison Ford proved he could pull off a much darker hero than Han Solo, and Rutger Hauer gave the performance of his career as the psychotic, feral and ultimately tragic Roy Batty. A masterpiece.

7) Total Recall (1990)
Based (very) loosely on Philip K Dick’s short story We Can Remember It For You Wholesale, Total Recall has both brains and brawn. When Arnie discovers that his memories are fake, he heads to Mars to find the truth. Cue foul-mouthed robot taxi drivers, ultra-violence and a three-breasted woman.

8) Stargate (1994)
The movie that sparked off 10 years of SG-1, 5 seasons of Atlantis and the upcoming Stargate: Universe, Roland Emmerich’s movie scores due to a simple but clever concept and inventive effects. Like Emmerich’s later Independence Day, it’s corny at times, but it adds to the ‘B-movie with a budget’ charm.

9) Mad Max 2 (aka The Road Warrior) (1981)
If the original was raw, energetic and brutal, the sequel took things to a whole new level as Max helps a community defend itself from crazed punks. Highlight: the boomerang sequence.

10) Escape from New York (1981)
Snake Plissken is one of cinema’s great action-hero, with Kurt Russell on top tough guy form. The plot, meanwhile, has influenced everything from District 13 to Doomsday, and it boasts John Carpenter’s best synth soundtracks.

Megan Fox looking hotter than ever. And some dude grabbing a piece of her.

2009-09-17T14:09:00.006-05:00

I used to oogle Megan Fox when she was on Hope and Faith, even though she was only a teenager. Yeah, I'm either that pervy dude who scopes on-the-border-of-legality chicks or a Hollywood talent scout who missed his calling. Eh, same thing.

Here's a bunch of photos of Megan Fox from a recent magazine. The photo above is of Megan at the VMA awards. It looks like the dude behind her is pinching her azz and it made me chuckle. That's one lucky hand! Although he might be enjoying too much if he's closing his eyes...hope Megan's outfit has stainguard!

Multiple Mes8ings

2009-09-17T13:00:00.002-05:00

I've managed to avoid posting about the Gosselins, simply because my wife used to make me watch their show against my will and I've hated them the whole time. Well, I used to think he was a decent guy who married a witch, but he truly is a douchebag at this point. She's been elevated from witch to "See U Next Tuesday" becuase her mothering, cooking and cleaning perfection didn't rely on her own elbow grease: she's had a hired staff all along.

Not that I care to discuss them anymore, but I thought it was ironic they know the best thing for their dogs (if not receiving the attention they need...) should be removed from the situation. Ah, how about doing the same for your own kids?!!!

Glenn Beck: Satan's mentally challenged younger brother

2009-09-17T11:50:00.004-05:00

Glenn Beck is a tough one. Not because what he says is strong in logic, but because I'm not sure anyone can get a read on him or what he stands for in tangibles or specifics. On the one hand, it's easy to take potshots at EVERYTHING and get people riled up in paranoia and mass witch-hunts. On the other hand, he seems to take shots at everything equally, albeit vaguely (capitalism, socialism, Dems, GOP), so he's not choosing sides necessarily (which I appreciate). If only he could get people to turn out at the polls and vote for a viable 3rd party candidate for President...I wouldn't care what kind of nutso stuff he cries about!

I hate the polarity of the political landscape in the United States. However, Glenn Beck makes me recognize that sitting in the middle and taking the best talking points from each side isn't the answer either.

Then again, if Chuck Norris is with Glenn, he can't lose an argument. Chuck drop kicks arguments without breaking a sweat.

The Colbert Report

Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

The 10.31 Project

www.colbertnation.com

Colbert Report Full Episodes

Political Humor

Health Care Protests

Bugs do the darndest things.

2009-09-17T11:40:00.002-05:00

Pink is the new green in the bug world!

Little girl Phillies fan tosses Daddy's ball away.

2009-09-17T11:35:00.004-05:00

Seriously, how nice is this guy? I'd probably be drunk and yell at my daughter if she did this. Know how rare it is to get even a foul ball in a stadium? And from a hitter on the team you root for? Yep, I'm a mean daddy.

On the other hand, no way would a take my daughter to a game where the seats are front row balcony!

New posts!

2009-09-17T09:12:00.001-05:00

I'm feeling creative again and finally have some time to gather my thoughts (and find weird things on the net), so stay tuned. Should be more very soon!

Ass-urance on insurance

2009-09-16T14:35:00.005-05:00

I'm going to stop the political posts for a while because they make me mental, but some things have been bothering me in the media lately and I need to vent. Even if only to myself and the few people who accidentally view the website looking for legit information that will help aid you in life, like Craigslist's Casual Encounters page or the Drinkers Against Mad Mothers website (BTW, this dude is going straight to hell.)

Anyhell, the U.S. is closer to a healthcare reform bill. Now, I haven't been keeping up with this healthcare debate because I purchase PPO plan through my work. Always have, always will...hate waiting to get permission from HMO's to go see a doctor when I want. So, the bill doesn't have an impact on me directly, other than possibly increasing the amount I pay because insurance companies will raise all rates to cover the fines and increase imposed on them by this bill. But, that's the insurance companies doing for screwing over average citizens, right? Not the government. Isn't the insurance companies who refuse to cover pre-existing conditions that might actually lower the likelihood of developing complex medical conditions that burden the reimbursement system? Yep. Isn't it the insurance companies that raise malpractice rates and force hospitals to up charges in order to cover? Uh huh. Rather than complaining about illegal aliens (BTW, there's a lot more uninsured Americans who receive free treatment in hospitals than illegals...it's called Medicare) ruining things, how about implementing a system that warrants having to provide ID in order to be covered under the public plan?

Nope, let's keep listening to the idiots out there who come up with clever campaigns like this poster:

And by idiots, I'm not talking about the GOP right. I'm talking the big insurance lobby that doesn't want the good times to end for their companies and be forced into competitive rate cuts!!!!

Senator Wilson proves South Carolina lacks has class.

2009-09-16T14:09:00.005-05:00

As if the story of South Carolina's Governor wasn't funny enough (remember no one could find him...then his aids said he was hiking for a couple of days...then it turns out he was hiking up his mistress' skirt in South America?), now there's this Congressional outburst controversy. Maybe Jimmy thought he said, "You die!"? I love how the last lines of the article are the most compelling argument.

In 2003, Wilson called it "unseemly" and a "smear" for the mixed-race daughter of Sen. Strom Thurmond, Essie Mae Washington-Williams, to identify the longtime South Carolina senator as her father after his death. After a public outcry, he reversed course and said he had the utmost respect for Washington-Williams.

As a state senator, he was an outspoken opponent of efforts to remove the Confederate flag from atop the South Carolina Statehouse.

Who says the media is too liberal? Sounds kind of damning to me! If the shoe fits...

Speaking of shoes, does pat Boone have a pair that match his jacket in this photo? I couldn't find a photo of Wilson with the confederate flag, but this one with Pat Boone is even better. Whatta patriot! (Where's Waldo alert: what's with the guy in back making fun of Pat's "creative" American outfit? He's probably a terrorist. He's definitely un-American fo sho.)

U.S. flaccid thanks to Bush.

2009-09-16T13:40:00.005-05:00

President Bush did a heck of a job destroying the U.S. domestically and abroad. Mind boggling how many Americans still like him and think he did a great job. A great job at what? Tax refunds? That's about it...and one could argue those refunds came from President Clinton's economy. And looking at the state of this economy now, were those refunds a good idea? People lost their jobs, lost their houses...but they got $600 per person per household! Whoopee!!!

Not that President Obama is a savior, but at least he accepts this country is in disrepair and something needs to be done. Other, than talking about tax refunds, oil drilling and the 2nd Amendment.

Chicago is #2. Is that an insult?

2009-09-16T12:47:00.004-05:00

Dayum...Chicago has a lot of bars. No wonder I love it here! If you can't grab a drink on every corner, what's the point of living anywhere, really.

Top 5 of America's Most Entertaining Cities

1. New York, N.Y.
Restaurants: 35,421
Bars: 3,844
Nightclubs: 400
Museums: 734
Live Theater Venues: 710
Sports Venues: 57
Sports Teams: 7
Forbes' Best Cities For The Outdoors Ranking: No. 21

2. Chicago, Ill.
Restaurants: 15,692
Bars: 2,493
Nightclubs: 219
Museums: 275
Live Theater Venues: 261
Sports Venues: 24
Sports Teams: 6
Forbes' Best Cities For The Outdoors Ranking: No. 25

3. Los Angeles, Calif.
Restaurants: 23,209
Bars: 983
Nightclubs: 283
Museums: 306
Live Theater Venues: 192
Sports Venues: 26
Sports Teams: 7
Forbes' Best Cities For The Outdoors Ranking: No. 32

4. Miami, Fla. (tie)
Restaurants: 9,689
Bars: 734
Nightclubs: 208
Museums: 133
Live Theater Venues: 91
Sports Venues: 18
Sports Teams: 3
Forbes' Best Cities For The Outdoors Ranking: No. 16

4. Washington, D.C. (tie)
Restaurants: 7,814
Bars: 477
Nightclubs: 146
Museums: 211
Live Theater Venues: 112
Sports Venues: 15
Sports Teams: 5
Forbes' Best Cities For The Outdoors Ranking: No. 9

The death of crocs

2009-08-13T22:21:00.003-05:00

Good riddance. I feel bad people lost their jobs, but these plastic shoes need to go. They look like my dead grandma's gardening shoes. Seriously, the Teva craze in the 90's made more sense...at least those are athletic and have good traction. And can get wet. Crocs are swiss-cheese shoes that people seem to find suitable to wear out. To dinner. Shopping. To the movies. And people decorate them! Writing on your Air Jordans or Converse was cool. Bedazzling your crocs isn't!

RIP crocs. May you die a slow death. But I hope your factory workers find work soon. :>))

10 most historically inaccurate movies

2009-08-13T22:11:00.003-05:00

Mel Gibson takes a lot of liberties with history it seems, considering three of his movies made the list of the 10 most historically inaccurate movies. It's the Australians' master plan to confuse history so we forget they used to be a penal colony. Now they're just mostly a penile colony. Doh!

Basically, here's the list, but THIS link provides the details:
1 U-571
2 Braveheart
3 10,000 BC
4 The Patriot
5 Pearl Harbour
6 Apocalypto
7 Amadeus
8 Gladiator
9 Young Victoria
10 Marie Antoinette

Save Ferris. Remember Hughs. Savor tunes.

2009-08-13T16:07:00.003-05:00

I'm a huge John Hughs fan, so the loss of him recently was tough to reconcile. So many memories growing up with his movies. Some of my favorite movies of all time include Sixteen Candles and Ferris Bueller. As much as the movies mean to me, though, the music from those movies is even more identifiable, for some reason. Simple Minds, Oingo Boingo, Thompson Twins, Altered Images. Those songs were anthems for these movies. Like a stunner to my ears, instantly halting me in my tracks, poised to identify the movie that first exposed me to the song that beckons my memories.

Radical.

With that said, some savvy people managed to piece together songs from Ferris Bueller. Because, little did I know, Ferris Bueller NEVER HAD A SOUNDTRACK RELEASED. Not that I should be surprised; ~~idiots like me~~ anyone who bought the Sixteen Candles soundtrack discovered an entire instrumental album.

Harsh.

So, enjoy the unofficial Ferris Bueller soundtrack, with movie quotables included.

Gnarly.

There's also a blog DJ who mixes rare 80's B-sides and lost tracks. Kinda cool for lamos like me.

Save water, pee in the shower!

2009-08-06T16:55:00.003-05:00

Who knew all these years I was an environmentalist? Brazil has a commercial running on it's airwaves advocating people to piss in the shower to save water (flushing toilets wastes gallons of water in your home every day). Yes, I will do my part. Not only for Brazil, but also ~~because I'm lazy in the morning and don't want to use the toilet then shower~~ for the mother Earth!

Want Vincent Gallo to be your baby daddy?

2009-07-27T22:33:00.004-05:00

In weird news, the actor Vincent Gallo will sell his sperm on his website for cash. As if that wasn't crazy enough, he's a racist mofo to boot. I think it's funny that he assumes a chick walking down to her local bar for sperm isn't the better option. Vincent looks like a scrawny junkie and his acting is even thinner. Although, for a crazy dude, getting an actress to perform fellatio on film (in "The Brown Bunny") was genius.

Official TR2N trailer from Comic Con 2009!

2009-07-27T22:24:00.003-05:00

Welcome to Tron: Legacy. Guess Flynn is bad now?

Burton's Alice in Wonderland Trailer

2009-07-22T13:49:00.000-05:00

Fan Fiction movie trailers

2009-07-10T22:12:00.002-05:00

I've posted fan films before when they're of really good quality. So, that another site came up with a Top 9 List of the Best Fan Fiction Film trailers is pretty cool. I gotta disagree that the Gremlins taking over other movies and Lego Batman are the very best (personally I think the Thundercats trailer I posted previously was better!), but it's still cool to see creative people taking a shot and showing their talent.

Pop culture is all around you.

2009-07-10T21:52:00.002-05:00

Thought this was cool. A user submission map tracking various spots made "famous" in pop culture. It's "Where It's At." I'm surprised there's not more entries.

McNair not a hero. Not much of a father either?

2009-07-10T08:37:00.003-05:00

I thought an article/editorial on the death or murder of Steve McNair made a good point about the America's tendency to "hero-ize" less than moral celebrities once they've died:

What we do know is that McNair had four sons. And based on the observations and comments of Kazemi's neighbors and neighbors at the condominium McNair rented, McNair spent so much time with Kazemi over the past few months that people assumed they lived together.

You see, this is my problem with McNair, with American men as a whole.

We shirk our responsibilities as fathers. We don't have time for it. We think it's a part- or no-time job. We think our career is more important. We think charity work is more important. We think some young tail is more important.

We foolishly believe we're unnecessary in the rearing of children. This mindset must die.

It's also a good highlighting that state of being a father in this country has been downsized in importance over the past couple of decades. No longer respected or even feared in most households, a father is simply a sperm donor in this day and age. Sad.

Economic WTF indicators

2009-06-25T14:20:00.006-05:00

Now this is economics I can get behind. 10 Quirky Economic Indicators: These off beat barometers of the economy can give you much needed guidance for your portfolio or simply a good laugh.

Maybe the CGI process adds offensive accents?

2009-06-25T14:19:00.005-05:00

Michael Bay and George Lucas must be best buds who sit around talking about ways to work stereotypical accents into CGI characters. Honestly, most kids nowadays barely speak proper English. I doubt aliens talking with Chinese or black accents is shocking/offending kids. Now a Transformer speaking eloquently: that'd be weird.

I'm more offended Bay and Lucas keep making the same movies over and over. We get it. Star wars has a never ending Universe of characters and blowing stuff up is fun.

Honestly, Hollywood is run by a bunch of old, rich, white men. Do you think they care (or even notice) if a major motion picture has characters with offensive stereotypes?

Wii want to bowl!

2009-06-25T14:18:00.003-05:00

1. This has disaster written all over it. Bowling ball in the tv, anyone?
2. Seriously, why wouldn't someone just go bowling?

Are all Palin women tramps?

2009-06-19T09:58:00.004-05:00

Probably not. But I think it's funny how many loony people in the world think it's serious business when statements like that are made. Um, it's called First Amendment rights here in the US and it's the same right that allows people con loco to protest in the streets...over nothing. Don't these people have anything better to do in the middle of the day? Nope and I don't care asa long as they keep providing genius video clips like this! I'm hoping to work some of these Letterman topical gems into a family party tonight:

"He made A-Rod a pervert too."

"He's too old to be on that damn show anyway. He's not even funny. He's a jerk." (NOTE: Letterman is only 3 years older than Leno.)

"I don't watch...I only watch Fox News channel." (And doing so will definitely bring the crazies...)

"They're Fascists and Communists."

"His son was born out of wedlock. I believe there's a term for that." (Avoiding alimony?)

"How dare he? When he has a bastard son and a slut for wife!" (So they are married then? I'm so confused...I wish Fox News would explain to me.)

"Socialism is evil." (I knew Medicare was Dave's fault!)

"Clean your house and you'll see how this economy will come back."

"He will rape them with his mouth! He is a verbal pedophile."

Fleecing of America at the pump: shocker!

2009-06-17T23:35:00.002-05:00

No, not a fun shocker. The kinda shocker that makes you realize how much Big Brother and Big Oil control how we function daily (travel, plastics, etc.). Yeah, gas prices still on the rise and no stopping them anytime soon.

500 Calorie Choices at Fast Food Joints

2009-06-17T22:06:00.004-05:00

I'm only posting this 500 calorie fast food menu so I can look it up on my phone when I'm running around. Deal with it. Hope it can help you too.

Here are some of the recommended Eat This! fast-food meals under 500 calories:

Less Than 500 Calories at Dunkin' Donuts
Ham, Egg & Cheese English Muffin Sandwich with English Breakfast Tea
350 calories
15 g fat (6 g saturated fat)
1,045 mg sodium

English muffins have a fraction of the carbohydrates of a bagel, and none of the trans fats of the donuts and croissants. The antioxidant-rich tea is also a great way to begin your day.

***********************************************************************************

Less Than 500 Calories at Hardee's
BBQ Chicken Sandwich with a small side of Cole Slaw
490 calories
16 g fat (3g saturated fat)
1,340 mg sodium

Barbecue sauce and a reasonably-sized side dish keep this meal in the safe zone. Just opt for a water, rather than a Hardee's shake or malt, and you're good to go. And if you want to steer clear of the liquid disasters that can blow up your waistline without your knowing it, be sure to check out some of these other worst beverages in America.

************************************************************************************

Less Than 500 Calories at KFC
3 Crispy Strips with Green Beans and 3" Corn on the Cob, and a Medium Diet Pepsi
475 calories
22.5 g fat (6 g saturated fat)
1,200 mg sodium

Order a side of green beans for a good source of vitamins K, A, and C—key players in maintaining strong bones and reducing cancer-causing free radicals. The corn on the cob will also help fill you up with minimal added calories. Just beware the dipping sauces—choosing BBQ over Ranch can save you over 100 calories.

***********************************************************************************

Less Than 500 Calories at McDonald's
Premium Grilled Chicken Classic Sandwich with a Side Salad with Newman's Own Low Fat Balsamic Vinaigrette, and a Medium Iced Tea
480 calories
13 g fat (2 g saturated fat)
1,945 mg sodium

Counting calories doesn't mean your meal is healthy. For example: The Grilled Chicken Classic Sandwich matches the Quarter Pounder without cheese when it comes to caloric content—but the chicken has no trans fats, while the burger does. Choose the sandwich and side salad for a good combination of protein and veggies.

************************************************************************************

Less Than 500 Calories at Pizza Hut
Two Slices Thin ‘N Crispy Pizza (12") with Quartered Ham & Pineapple, and Medium Diet Coke
360 calories
12 g fat (5 g saturated fat)
1,110 mg sodium

Regardless of which pizza chain you favor, ham and pineapple is one of the most trusted combinations you can order. Ham adds extra protein to balance out the crust's carbohydrate load, while pineapple adds low-cal sweetness and a dose of antioxidants.

************************************************************************************

Less Than 500 Calories at Taco Bell
Two Fresco Soft Beef Tacos with Mexican Rice, and a bottle of water
470 calories
17 g fat (6 g saturated fat)
1,760 mg sodium

Order almost any menu item "fresco" style and the Bell boys will replace cheese and sauces with a chunky tomato salsa, cutting calories and fat by at least 25 percent. Beyond being nutritious, salsa is also cheap—check out our list of the other healthiest cheap foods you can eat. Finally, the Mexican rice adds a tasty little side (just 110 extra calories) that'll help fill you up without filling you out.

************************************************************************************

Less Than 500 Calories at Wendy's
Ultimate Chicken Grill Sandwich with Mandarin Orange Cup and small Nestea Sweetened Iced Tea
500 calories
7 g fat (1.5 g saturated fat)
983 mg sodium

This is the healthiest sandwich on the menu. Don't order your chicken spicy, though: That's their cue to fry, rather than grill, your bird, tacking on an extra 9.5 fat grams. Adding a small citrus fruit cup side is also a great, low-calorie way to add sweetness—and cold-fighting vitamin C—to your meal.

Homer Simpson GPS!!

2009-06-17T22:04:00.001-05:00

Turn left in 300 meters. I mean right. Doh!

Best movie era ever: the 80's

2009-06-13T20:38:00.002-05:00

I'm on a nostalgic movie trip on YouTube...and aparently I'm not alone. Revenge of the Nerds in on E! It's hip to be square, I guess.

Bruno movie: 7/10/09!!!!

2009-06-13T12:29:00.003-05:00

I'm looking forward to the Bruno movie. I'm still one of the few people who finds it funny when people still do Borat impressions. Look for major contraversy when this movie comes out. If Borat was shocking for people, Bruno will kill'em.

Here's a link to an HD Rated R trailer for Bruno. I can't post-it because it does have brief nudity and cursing, so you've been warned. Hilarious though and truly shows how many people are going to be offended by the movie and people are going to be suing mad when they see themselves acting like fools. Why did they sign releases then?!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=12Jv8Mr0y6Q&feature=related

Camp 80's trailers!

2009-06-13T12:24:00.003-05:00

ALL GENIUS! Memories...

...no wonder I'm so warped and twisted.

Tweet dat: idiots rule.

2009-06-11T08:48:00.003-05:00

So, Trent Reznor of Nine In Nails (NIN) is on Twitter and is one of the original celebs to embrace the technology (+640,000 followers). Well, that's changed. I'll let Trent's words speak for themselves, since they genius-ly sum up why Twitter could've been the next generation of social networking, but failed by going mainstream too fast:

I will be tuning out of the social networking sites because at the end of the day it's now doing more harm than good in the bigger picture and the experiment seems to have yielded a result. Idiots rule. Anyway, we're in a world where the mainstream social networks want any and all people to boost user numbers for the big selloff and are not concerned with the quality of experience.

Apple mugs it's iPhone clitentele and sets them up to get mugged on the street!

2009-06-09T16:26:00.007-05:00

Wow, that was a fast iScrewjob. Turns out Apple won't let you be cool for under $399.

...Those of us who were eager (dumb?) enough to buy last summer's iPhone 3G will not be eligible for the discounted $199/$299 iPhone 3G S pricing...Instead, prepare to pay $200 extra for an 'early' upgrade, which comes out to $399 for the 16GB iPhone 3G S or $499 for the 32GB version. According to TUAW, some iPhone 3G owners aren't even being offer the 'early' upgrade option—in which case, they're stuck with AT&T's 'no commitment' pricing of $599 for the 16GB iPhone 3G S or (gulp) $699 for the 32GB model.

That's a bunch of iBull. Buy a Crackebrry, you iSuckers! True, you don't get to look cool scrolling through screens hard and furious with your index finger, but who can afford an iPhone upgrade in this economy? And if you can afford it, do you really want the iSnob label while loudly pointing through apps?

And the number one reason not to upgrade: you're going to get mugged for your iPhone3GS! Ask Apple if they make an iTaser while you're at it...

Now you can be iCool for $99.00!

2009-06-08T13:19:00.000-05:00

Apple announced it's the dropping the 3G iPhone price. How great, right? Eh, not so much. You see, they already have a better, sleeker, faster and more capable iPhone 3G-S waiting to hit the market, which will prompt current iPhone users to pay $199-$299 again. So, go ahead, be cool. Drop another wad of cash for a new phone and new apps (you don't think Apples going to let you transfer all of those between phones, do you?).

Ain't technology a kick in the pant?!

1st Anniversary

2009-06-08T11:38:00.003-05:00

I missed that Saturday was the date I first reserved this website and started thinking about blogging. June 6, 2008: so one year old! 407 posts and 1400 views in one year. I'm kind of proud of that, considering how little time I've had to invest in this blog. Gotta work and pay the bills, you know? Hopefully this year will allow for more creative juices and the blog will evolve even more.

Stretch Armstrong movie

2009-06-04T08:04:00.004-05:00

Hollywood has officially run out of ideas. A Stretch Armstrong movie? It was a cool toy, but a movie? This movie will only work if they keep his cool Richard Simmons outfit and blond mullet. Business in the front, party in the back...Armstrong-style!

And I don't remember Wretch, Fetch and X-ray Armstrongs. That's one messed up family. Did they grow up next to Chernobyl? This movie willl be more campy than the Toxic Avenger. In case you forgot about that genius...

old school baseball team names

2009-06-03T14:53:00.003-05:00

Can you tell I'm searching Wiki today? I thought this listing of the original teams listed in the NL and AL back in 1901 was neat.

Chicago White Sox = Chicago White Stockings (after the Cubs gave up the stockings name)
Chicago Cubs = Chicago Orphans (worst team name ever)

Here's the funny ones:

Brooklyn Superbas? (the Yankees were so "superba" in their play)
Boston Beaneaters? (this is actually kinds cool, and better than "Red Stockings")

Converts are the worst bigots.

2009-06-03T14:42:00.004-05:00

Being a Chicago transplant, I'd never heard of this before: the Max Headroom broadcast signal intrusion incident!

On November 22, 1987, during The 9 O'Clock News sportscast, WGN-TV's Chicago area signal was hijacked for approximately 25 seconds by an unknown person wearing a Max Headroom mask. This was only the first incident of that night involving the interruption of a television station's broadcast signal. Approximately two hours later, Chicago PBS station WTTW (channel 11) had its broadcast interrupted by the same person. WGN-TV's analog transmitter is atop the John Hancock Center and engineers were almost immediately able to thwart the video hacker by changing the studio-to-transmitter frequency, thus cutting the hacker off. Unfortunately for WTTW, its transmitter is atop Sears Tower and it was unable to stop the hacker before enduring almost two minutes of the hacker's interruption. These two stations are two of only six existing victims of what is called "broadcast signal intrusion". Subscription television network HBO, WJLA-TV, Playboy TV and the Comcast cable system in Tucson, Arizona are the other victims.

And the person or persons has never been caught! Clearly, no oone's been bragging about this for 20 years or they would've been caught. how do you not brag about this? This is one of those things you tell your kid when they're 18...show'em you were a bad-azz once!

And here's a link to the real Max Headroom getting his costume on. I thought it was computer generated too. Clearly, I was not a smart kid in 1987.

New GI JOE movie clips!

2009-06-01T13:43:00.002-05:00

Movie Trailers - Movies Blog

Bruno teabags Eminem

2009-06-01T09:17:00.002-05:00

The video everyone is talking about about the awards show last night. I think it's rigged and staged. Before Bruno hits the obstacle on the ceiling, you see hit left arm tuck and his right arm go straight out, like he wanted to hit it and get stuck. Assuming Sasha Baron Cohen doesn't break chartacter easliy and the cut-out backside landing in his face was a coincidence, why does the music stop as soon as he gets snagged and why would the crane operator keep lowering him into the audience? Still, it's funny and a great ad for the new Bruno movie!

Bruno And Eminem Get Intimate - MTV Movie Awards
by TheDlisted

Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus Pluto

2009-05-30T00:27:00.004-05:00

The things women think "woo" men are sweet notions, but let's be realistic. Here's the real list of 5 things that make men smile (I won't limit to a particular order, since every man is different):

1. Sex
2. Sports
3. Beer
4. Sleep
5. Food

Single ladies: want to land a guy for the long haul? Feed him (cook or go out), encourage him to drink, update him on the sports scores that night (he'll think you're cooler than Mary from "There's Something About Mary"), give him some action (at least 2nd base, but not a homerun...don't be a prude if you want to seal the deal) and then let him sleep. He'll be in love the next morning. Trust this.

Twitwits

2009-05-30T00:17:00.003-05:00

I still don't get why people think Twitter is of use other than telling people mundane happenings in their lives. Yes, even more mundane than the crap you post on Facebooks or MySpace or LinkedIn. Twitter does nothing to improve on those social networking sites, other than expediting ways in which self-promoters and spammers can capitalize on innovative technology and people's leisure. Even Kanye agrees. And he's pissed.

At least one funny comedy to debut in Fall 2009.

2009-05-30T00:08:00.001-05:00

Unfortunately, the mindless masses won't watch and it'll get cancelled in 4 weeks. Typical for network TV these years.

Best TV show hangouts

2009-05-30T00:06:00.002-05:00

Kind of self explanatory. Click HERE.

Movie urban legends

2009-05-29T23:47:00.003-05:00

Can you believe it? None of these urban legends in movies are true, based on this article. The Three Men and a Baby ghost is real. I don't care what anyone says. It looks like a little boy, then the camera cuts and *poof* looks like Ted Danson in a tux. I'm not buying this explanation 100%.

And I thought the Wizard of Oz myth was some dude hanging from a rope in the background of a forest scene? I use3d to think this was true, but I just did a search for the video on youtube and I don't see much, but doesn't mean it didn't happen. Just wasn't caught 100% on film. Ghosts and evil is tricky like that. They don't play.

Keep ing up with the Jones' maybe wealthy

2009-05-29T23:38:00.002-05:00

It's a said day when making six figures isn't considered wealthy. Inflation and the fleecing of America make it impossible to be comfortable for under six figures a year (and still put money away i savings). Sad. I try to stay grounded/realistic by remembering that my parents first living room furniture was lawn chairs.

boxee

2009-05-29T15:06:00.001-05:00

http://mashable.com/2009/05/28/boxee-hulu-desktop/

Big Oil needs to pay for X-mas party 2009

2009-05-29T15:05:00.003-05:00

I already posted about gas prices rising recently without many people noticing. Well, it's still going up and doesn't show a slowdown. The fleecing of America continues. I read that gas prices have increased 96% since December 2008 (5 months ago) and 33% since the beginning of May 2009. And it's getting worse. Think about that next time you fill up your car's tank or pay your gas bill or buy a plastic product. We bring this on ourselves.

A chickouse?

2009-05-29T10:11:00.002-05:00

50% mouse, 50% chicken. 100% creepy. this is a strong argument for why mankind should not be messing with Mother Nature by cross-breeding...

10 Best TV Show Finales

2009-05-29T09:45:00.003-05:00

I forgot the link to where I found this list of the 10 Best TV Show Finales, so I can't redirect to who's opinion this is (and why some of us beg to differ). Here's the list and I'll add my comments after each one. I thought it was interesting that not only are most of these recently ended shows (easily the past 5 to 10 years), which overlooks many great endings to television shows before 5 years ago (MASH being the only "oldie" listed), but most are genre specific (with ~~crazy, rabidly loyal~~ small fan bases) or were on cable (again limiting the number of viewers.

10. "Exeunt Omnes," Oz
Did anyone stick around long enough to watch this finale? If the finale was anything like the show, it ended with a group shower scene raping with the shanking of a skinhead by an African prisoner.
9. "Discos and Dragons," Freaks and Geeks
Heard it was a great show, but there was only 1 season. Can a finale for only 1 season be considered one of the best ever?
8. "Made in America," The Sopranos
The morning after this finale, everyone agreed it sucked. Fade to black. No ending at all. No one gets killed, no one rides off into the sunset. Now the armchair quarterbacks say it's one of the 10 greatest ever? They should be whacked.
7. "Christmas Special," The Office
Huh? The British Office? That no one in America watches?
6. "Daybreak," Battlestar Galactica
Big deal, they tied up lose ends and solved who's a Cylon and who's not. Is that novel?
5. "Goodbye, Farewell and Amen," M*A*S*H
This should be number 1. No doubt. I was never a big MASH fan, but it ended perfectly...the model for all tv show endings, IMO.
4. "Development Arrested," Arrested Development
They're making an Areested Development movie now, so should this be considered a finale anymore?
3. "Chosen," Buffy the Vampire Slayer
I can live with this at #3. This was a good ending. While it didn't follow the model MASH laid down, it ended the only way this wacky and innovative show could: with an all out bloodbath (with witty banter!) to save the world.
2. "Not Fade Away," Angel
This show lasted long enough to warrant a finale? Who knew.
1. "Everyone's Waiting," Six Feet Under
And after watching this finale, if you managed to not be depressed enough to kill yourself, congrats!

Tarkenton bitch slaps Favre

2009-05-28T14:12:00.003-05:00

He kind of sums up what a most Bears fans have been saying all along: ungrateful and overrated.

Zune to crush iPhone

2009-05-28T10:49:00.002-05:00

Not that I'm a supporter of Microsoft continuing to expand their monopolized empire, but I think I hate proprietarized Apple a little more. The new Zune HD phone will bascially be one-stop shopping for all of your entertainment needs.

If you have to make the tree look bigger, you've got bigger smaller problems than hair.

2009-05-28T10:23:00.006-05:00

This is kind of funny. Not sure if it's a legit commercial endorsed by Gillette or not. Basically, it's a "how to" video on how to shave a man's "twig and berries" area. I gotta say the guy cartoon in this video looks way to happy to have a razor on his junk. And the guy looks like a douche wannabe hipster. If they're going to play the "trim the bush to make the tree look bigger card," shouldn't the guy in the video look more like a real guy, not a metrosexual douche who manscapes? Let's be honest, most men who have to "pull the skin taught" (OUCH!!!) to "let the razor do the work," probably need to suck in their gut to even see where the razor should go. Scary and not a task the average dude should be doing without having the phone next to him to call 911 if something get's nicked. Yowza!

There's also videos on how to shave you chest, armpits back and head. OK, head makes sense and it's a cool alternative to growing out a comeover for balding. But, the back I think you need to go the professional route with electrolysis. And shaving your chest? Seriously, just carve the word "douchebag" in your chest. Trust me, it'll produce the same effect.

Yeah, armpit hair gets in the way all the time. Makes sense. Not so much. A man who decides to shave his pits should continue his glamification by going to his nearest tanning salon to buy 12 new sessions and then head out to "da club" later that night to debut his new hairless guns while sipping on mojitos. Too kool 4 skool!

On a more serious note, if you're contemplating manscpaing or have douche friends who may, please stop. If we've learned nothing from listening to women bitch about how much of a pain it is to shave their entire bodies, it's that we (men) don't want the same fate.

Green Lantern trailer

2009-05-27T11:09:00.002-05:00

I've posted fan produced movie trailers before (He-Man, GI Joe) and I'm always amazed at how high quality they are. And how much they make me want to see those movies. Here's an example of a possible upcoming Green Lantern movie starring Nathan Fillion:

Or could it be that the format/formula for trailers is so fine-tuned that trailers make anything look entertaining? Oh, my fragile little mind get sucked in again!

American TV sinking again?

2009-05-27T10:51:00.004-05:00

I swear every year American TV networks release statements about how many great shows are due to debut in the upcoming Fall schedule. Most of them wind up stinking. And the few that are good, in my opinion, get dropped in the first 4 weeks of programming and you never get an ending/finale at all. "Community," "The Goode Family" and "Parenthood" look funny, so I'll look forward to watching 3 episodes before they're canceled!

New V miniseries preview

2009-05-27T10:30:00.000-05:00

Kiefer "At least it's not reefer" Sutherland

2009-05-26T12:20:00.003-05:00

Kiefer has more than a drinking problem, IMO. That being said, he's probably that dude who's hilarious to party with because when he's sober he's all cranky and normal but then turns into Frank the Tank with some shots.

Happy Memorial Day weekend!

2009-05-22T23:42:00.004-05:00

This weekend is supposed to be about remembering American soldiers who have done so much for this country. Even if I don't agree with war, I do appreciate soldiers being dedicated and carrying out the job they signed up for. That said, I'd like to honor those soldiers: by posting photos of chicks in bikinis to celebrate the beginning of summer (cause that's kind of what the weekend is about too).

NOTE: I've had these photos ~~to spank it to~~ on my laptop forever. If anyone can figure out where they're from, I'll prviide the link. I think it was a website called "Las Vegas CR" or something?

The Girls of Summer 2009

2009-05-22T22:07:00.002-05:00

This could be my favorite post ~~ever~~ of today.

Click HERE for hot chicks in summer flicks!

Goonies reunion.

2009-05-22T22:04:00.002-05:00

Memories...like the corner of my mind. If you're a 30-something, you can't help but be giddy while watching this. Goonies never die!

America: Land of Useless Legislation and Wasted Efforts

2009-05-22T11:00:00.002-05:00

We can't pass bills to fund schools so our future generations have access to quality education, but politicians can waste their time on this? Politicians wasting our tax dollar and their time is nothing new. What burns me about this bill is it's flawed in its sponsor's [Rep. Paul Broun (R-Ga.)] own agenda!

“Does that mean 2009 is not the year of the Bible?”

Thank you, White Sox!

2009-05-22T09:56:00.006-05:00

Getting big-time baseball players to play for the Cubs is hard enough. The fans can be fickle (the greatest when you're winning, the most brutal when you're losing), Cubs management and owners have always made bonehead decisions (Sam Zell is clearly no exception...) and you're always a Cub for the rest of your career (for good or for bad). When Peavy was rumored to be heading to Chicago, it seemed too good to be true and the Cubs management would have to pay big money to get him here. Well, it turns out, not as much money or convincing as thought.

You see, the White Sux GM offered a dream package (because several players are coming off the books) to Peavy to bring him to the ailing White Sux and all of Chicago (based on Chicago sports media yesterday) was on board. Too bad Peavy wasn't. He initially said he needed a week or two to think it over. Turns out, he only needed about 12 hours to decline the offer.

So thank you White Sux nation...for convincing Peavy that if he comes to Chi-town, the Cubbies are where it's at. For reassuring penny-pinching Zell that it might not take THAT MUCH money to get Peavy. For showing Peavy what a 20-1 loss looks like, on the same night he's weighing the decision.

Tell you what though, Peavy drinks like a Southsider. Jager? Only suitable for Southside bachelor parties. Period.

On a funny note, listening the 670AM (and overall sports) personalities back-peddle today is hilarious. yesterday, they were all on the Peavy bandwagon. "Great offer" from Kenny Williams, "aggressive," "early," "trying to right the ship." Today: "wasn't a good fit," "not contenders in the AL central anyway." I'll give them that he didn't want to play in the AL, but I didn't hear anyone saying that yesterday!