Pants on the Ground

Genius! This better be released as record, cause it'll go platinum brass for sure. Funniest thing I've seen on TV in a while. Haven't cried from laughing so hard in a looooooong time.

10 corrections needed for "hot" TV shows right now.

I thought this is a great, quick analysis of some of the "hot" shows on TV right now and how they're starting to veer off their "hot" paths...

I'd like to add that Modern Family and Cougar Town not try to introduce too many more new characters. Guest stars are fine occasionally ala Friends, but we don't need any more characters. Use the ones you've got in the stories. And no babies!!!!

AND PLEASE...LET LOST END WITH ANSWERS!

Jersey Shore not convincing that "guido" is term to be proud of

Party poopers. They're all just hating on "The Situation."

And Domino's has some nerve. If Jersey Shore isn't "in keeping with what they're all about," then maybe they should only advertise on Christian tv programs (since they support "Operation Rescue") to promote "what they're about."

Jersey Shore (aka The Real World: Seaside)

Will the rest of the world now think Americans are guidos instead of cowboys?

Being from Jersey originally, I know the real name for this shore town is Sleazeside. MTV has started a new show for guidos and guidettes to get drunk and horny with each other to show what young Italians do to perpetuate stereotyping living in a Jersey shorehouse is like. Of course, I'm hooked alrady, line and sinker in mouth!

My interest in the show differs from most people, however. Whereas most of this country (and maybe the world?) is watching this weekly trainwreck thinking "there's no way people actually look, talk and act like that," I'm watching thinking "I went to school with these nutjobs." I can attest that this show is for real and these people do act this way on a daily basis. This is how the Jersey shore lays out every summer when a bunch of young people whore it up on the weekends with like-minded nutjobs. Thus why the most popular shore town for partying earned the nickname "Sleazeside," instead of Seaside.

Whereas I always wanted to leave New Jersey to get away from these personalities, watching this show is a small taste of revisiting the past without having to actually go back. I can practically smell the Sambuca and taste the saltwater taffy all over again!

What's sad is I now find cheesy guido tees funny instead of a warning for a meat looking for a fight on the boardwalk:



And finally: fist pumping to the Total Eclipse of the Heart club remix kinda says it all:


Guido = Douchebag

Bud Light commercial you'll never see air...

100 TV and Movie Spoilers in under 5 minutes!

I thought this was pretty good. I've seen most of these movies and shows, but there were a couple that I never saw, never probably will and always wondered what the fuss was about. Perfect! Now I don't have to see them.

I also liked these videos because they actually helped sum up the points of movies I never really understood. American Psycho was a dream, that makes sense finally. Blair takes over Mrs. Garrett's job, makes sense. OK, well here you go:

Megan Fox looking hotter than ever. And some dude grabbing a piece of her.

I used to oogle Megan Fox when she was on Hope and Faith, even though she was only a teenager. Yeah, I'm either that pervy dude who scopes on-the-border-of-legality chicks or a Hollywood talent scout who missed his calling. Eh, same thing.

Here's a bunch of photos of Megan Fox from a recent magazine. The photo above is of Megan at the VMA awards. It looks like the dude behind her is pinching her azz and it made me chuckle. That's one lucky hand! Although he might be enjoying too much if he's closing his eyes...hope Megan's outfit has stainguard!

Multiple Mes8ings

I've managed to avoid posting about the Gosselins, simply because my wife used to make me watch their show against my will and I've hated them the whole time. Well, I used to think he was a decent guy who married a witch, but he truly is a douchebag at this point. She's been elevated from witch to "See U Next Tuesday" becuase her mothering, cooking and cleaning perfection didn't rely on her own elbow grease: she's had a hired staff all along.

Not that I care to discuss them anymore, but I thought it was ironic they know the best thing for their dogs (if not receiving the attention they need...) should be removed from the situation. Ah, how about doing the same for your own kids?!!!

Converts are the worst bigots.

Being a Chicago transplant, I'd never heard of this before: the Max Headroom broadcast signal intrusion incident!

On November 22, 1987, during The 9 O'Clock News sportscast, WGN-TV's Chicago area signal was hijacked for approximately 25 seconds by an unknown person wearing a Max Headroom mask. This was only the first incident of that night involving the interruption of a television station's broadcast signal. Approximately two hours later, Chicago PBS station WTTW (channel 11) had its broadcast interrupted by the same person. WGN-TV's analog transmitter is atop the John Hancock Center and engineers were almost immediately able to thwart the video hacker by changing the studio-to-transmitter frequency, thus cutting the hacker off. Unfortunately for WTTW, its transmitter is atop Sears Tower and it was unable to stop the hacker before enduring almost two minutes of the hacker's interruption. These two stations are two of only six existing victims of what is called "broadcast signal intrusion". Subscription television network HBO, WJLA-TV, Playboy TV and the Comcast cable system in Tucson, Arizona are the other victims.

And the person or persons has never been caught! Clearly, no oone's been bragging about this for 20 years or they would've been caught. how do you not brag about this? This is one of those things you tell your kid when they're 18...show'em you were a bad-azz once!

And here's a link to the real Max Headroom getting his costume on. I thought it was computer generated too. Clearly, I was not a smart kid in 1987.

At least one funny comedy to debut in Fall 2009.

Unfortunately, the mindless masses won't watch and it'll get cancelled in 4 weeks. Typical for network TV these years.

Best TV show hangouts

Kind of self explanatory. Click HERE.

10 Best TV Show Finales

I forgot the link to where I found this list of the 10 Best TV Show Finales, so I can't redirect to who's opinion this is (and why some of us beg to differ). Here's the list and I'll add my comments after each one. I thought it was interesting that not only are most of these recently ended shows (easily the past 5 to 10 years), which overlooks many great endings to television shows before 5 years ago (MASH being the only "oldie" listed), but most are genre specific (with crazy, rabidly loyal small fan bases) or were on cable (again limiting the number of viewers.

10. "Exeunt Omnes," Oz
Did anyone stick around long enough to watch this finale? If the finale was anything like the show, it ended with a group shower scene raping with the shanking of a skinhead by an African prisoner.
9. "Discos and Dragons," Freaks and Geeks
Heard it was a great show, but there was only 1 season. Can a finale for only 1 season be considered one of the best ever?
8. "Made in America," The Sopranos
The morning after this finale, everyone agreed it sucked. Fade to black. No ending at all. No one gets killed, no one rides off into the sunset. Now the armchair quarterbacks say it's one of the 10 greatest ever? They should be whacked.
7. "Christmas Special," The Office
Huh? The British Office? That no one in America watches?
6. "Daybreak," Battlestar Galactica
Big deal, they tied up lose ends and solved who's a Cylon and who's not. Is that novel?
5. "Goodbye, Farewell and Amen," M*A*S*H
This should be number 1. No doubt. I was never a big MASH fan, but it ended perfectly...the model for all tv show endings, IMO.
4. "Development Arrested," Arrested Development
They're making an Areested Development movie now, so should this be considered a finale anymore?
3. "Chosen," Buffy the Vampire Slayer
I can live with this at #3. This was a good ending. While it didn't follow the model MASH laid down, it ended the only way this wacky and innovative show could: with an all out bloodbath (with witty banter!) to save the world.
2. "Not Fade Away," Angel
This show lasted long enough to warrant a finale? Who knew.
1. "Everyone's Waiting," Six Feet Under
And after watching this finale, if you managed to not be depressed enough to kill yourself, congrats!

American TV sinking again?

I swear every year American TV networks release statements about how many great shows are due to debut in the upcoming Fall schedule. Most of them wind up stinking. And the few that are good, in my opinion, get dropped in the first 4 weeks of programming and you never get an ending/finale at all. "Community," "The Goode Family" and "Parenthood" look funny, so I'll look forward to watching 3 episodes before they're canceled!

New V miniseries preview

Kiefer "At least it's not reefer" Sutherland

Kiefer has more than a drinking problem, IMO. That being said, he's probably that dude who's hilarious to party with because when he's sober he's all cranky and normal but then turns into Frank the Tank with some shots.

Jon and Kate Plus Hate

My wife loves the show Jon & Kate Plus 8 on TLC. I personally can't stand how the Gosselins Kate makes the chaos a large family seem so perfect. Seriously, she might as well turn to the camera and say, "I have eight kids, which is more than you, so I'm a better parent than you." So, naturally I'm loving the recent headlines that are revealing that not only is she and her life not perfectly planned out, but there's shady stuff going down. And I'm not talking her wacky haircut.

First, Kate's husband was accused of flirting with co-eds in college bars. Then, he was linked to having an affair with some home wrecker. (Not that anyone blames Jon the husband; on the show, Kate notoriously berates and belittles Jon to the point that he's been symbolically castrated.) Now we're finding out, Kate's been banging her bodyguard all along! Open marriage anyone?

So what's the problem here again? They make millions on a tv show and with books, get laid by hot lovers on the side and don't have to watch their kids much? Sounds like a dream to me!!

In the Parenthood

Being a father who's life has been turned upside down (in a great, but chaotic way), I had to post this preview for a new NBC show in development. I loved the movie Parenthood, which it seems like had more comedy than this tv show version, but this looks good too. Plus, my daughter loves "Pop Goes The Weasel," so how could I not post this video!

Lost timeline

I thought this was cool for fans of the show, including myself: The entire LOST timeline.

Not so Lost: Dead Is Dead

The tv show Lost actually had an episode last night that, believe it or not, actually answered some questions and made some reveals about how the island works. Probably the biggest was the tie in of the smoke monster, as referenced in Egyptian hieroglyphics, to Anubis (the Egyptian god of the afterlife) and proving that the smoke monster "judges" those on the island and DOES take corporal form of people who have died on the island.

So, the show does kind of touch on theories that have been kicked around for years: purgatory, time travel, giant vivarium,...could aliens be that far behind? Check out the screen-capture below: is that a UFO in the upper left part? Please tell me this show doesn't with a Stargate/Fifth Element ripoff theory?!!!!

The theory of Dharma coming to the island to use it as a vivarium is particularly interesting, especially when coupled with the ideas of flawed heroes who have to save the world from destruction (remember pressing the button every 108 seconds supposedly staved off destruction and cued hieroglyphics in the resetting of a clock?), which is an allusion to the Watchmen graphic novel. This in turn makes one think of Ozymandias from that book, and his misguided intentions to save humanity through whatever means necessary. (Kind of sounds like Ben and Widmore on Lost doing the same for the island.) And coming back full circle (since we know Lost LOVES to reference literary works), we come to sonnets written by Percy Shelley and Horace Smith, each titled "Ozymandias." IMO, these can be alluded to the general themes of Lost:

I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them on the sand,
Half sunk, a shatter'd visage lies, whose frown
And wrinkled lip and sneer of cold command
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamp'd on these lifeless things,
The hand that mock'd them and the heart that fed.
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains: round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
—Percy Shelley

And the Smith sonnet:

In Egypt's sandy silence, all alone,
Stands a gigantic Leg, which far off throws
The only shadow that the Desert knows:
"I am great OZYMANDIAS," saith the stone,
"The King of Kings; this mighty City shows
"The wonders of my hand." The City's gone,
Nought but the Leg remaining to disclose
The site of this forgotten Babylon.
We wonder, and some Hunter may express
Wonder like ours, when thro' the wilderness
Where London stood, holding the Wolf in chace,
He meets some fragments huge, and stops to guess
What powerful but unrecorded race
Once dwelt in that annihilated place.
—Horace Smith

Guess we'll know once the 4 toed statue is officially explained! It's fairly well known that statue will be Anubis.

Theriot the bloodsucker

This posting at the Cubs Brickyard is from December 2008, but I thought it was pretty funny. The Riot is a vampire.