Zambrano hates Wrigley

Obviously, Big Z hasn't heard the phrase "don't sh*t where you eat." He's one of the most popular pitchers today because of Cubs fans (there are plenty of aces in the game who don't get the cheers and jersey sales he gets...) and yet wants Wrigley gone. In favor of another generic, albeit top notch, professional stadium? He needs to visit the Cell more often.

Cubs ace asks for a new ballpark

“You come into a ballpark like this and you see great things...You wish that Chicago’d build a new stadium for the Cubs,” he said.

Cubs manager Lou Piniella couldn’t agree less with his opening-day starter. The former Yankees outfielder and manager was enchanted by the new [Yankees] ballpark in the Bronx, but can’t wait to return to Chicago for the first home game on April 13.

“I don’t see why,” Piniella said when asked if the Cubs need a new stadium. “Wrigley’s got its own uniqueness. There’s no question the facilities need to be redone but that’s going to happen. My favorite time of year is when the ivy turns green. It’s really a great environment to play a ballgame,” he said.

Sweet Lou knows how to play the game. And by "play the game" I mean making Cubs fans happy by telling us exactly what we want to hear. He's right about Wrigley needing some updating...the old gal is falling apart and our team deserves better (the below photo is their dugout pisser). I get they're athletes and not glamour boys, but this is pretty rough looking. I don't want to know what the buckets are for...

And while we're on the subject, any Wrigley renovation can't remove the mens rooms' troughs. If you're a sports fan, you're aware of how bad timeout/halftime/quarter-end bathroom breaks are with urinals. Lines barely move and dudes end up pissing in the sinks. I'm just saying it happens. Don't judge. Guys, if you've been to Wrigley, you've been amazed at how fast troughs make it to get in and get out. They can get rid of the handwashing station though. Seriously, it does kind of look like another urinal and accidents happen. Hey, I said don't judge.

Ladies, you're just screwed at sporting events...your lines are always long. You should probably invest in the "Go Girl."