Thursday, November 26, 2009

Happy Turkey Day!

I got some pie!!

Some 400 years ago, pilgrims sat down with indians Native Americans people indiginous to North America and ate delicious foods, right before giving them blankets with small pox. Isn't it ironic that we now give thanks in rememberance of giving indians disease and killing their people?

Well, the point is, as Americans, we give thanks on this day for all of the blessings we have in life. I must say I'm pretty lucky to have wonderful, healthy and happy people in my life who make me feel wonderful and happy. Note, I didn't say healthy, since I ate like a freaking pig today and am so stuffed all I've eaten since Thanksgiving dinner is tums and water. So worth it though.

For non-Americans, it is a day to drink. In abundance. OK, us Americans do that today too. About the only thing you can't do on today is have sex because most of us feel too fat or too drunk to do so.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Thanksgiving ruined? No pumpkin pie?!!!

Yes, you read the title correctly. Word on the pumkinvine is there won't be enough pumpkin pie to go around this year and we'll have to give thanks for sweet potato pie. Oh the humanity.

No, but seriously. How ironic is it the organic pumpkins yielded a better crop than mass production?

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Scotch on ice

Now this is an expedition I can get behind. Save the whiskey! Indiana Jones was always trying to save arks, crosses and artifacts. Booze should've been his priority all along.

I think it should be a world initiative to shift all of the fossil and religious artifact hunters to help find the booze at the bottom of the arctic sea!

Palin and Prejean go Jezebel! posted a great write-up on the parallels between Sarah Palin and Carrie Prejean. See this link to "Palinizing" Prejean, Prejeanizing Palin: Two Conservative Women Look Out For #1." Here's my favorite part of their analysis:
Neither Palin nor Prejean seem to understand that while they ask America to sympathize with their victimization, they're also asking us to support policies that victimize others. Prejean's views on gay marriage and Palin's beliefs about reproductive rights (and welfare, and healthcare reform) aim to restrict people's freedom to live the way they want. To espouse these views while complaining about handlers who try to rein them in and reporters who criticize them reveals a staggering egocentrism.
Well, don't all conservative, selfish great famewhores think alike?!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Going "Ho"gue: How Sarah Palin still doesn't get it

Like any hard-working famewhore, Sarah Palin has a book to pimp out. She's putting on her tired Joe-sixpack "I'm just like you" fake persona heels and doing her best trick strut to hit the cold Alaskan street corners airwaves and pages for interviews. Lucky for us, POLITICO got ahold of Palin's book before it's spun to death. They put together some snippets and paraphrasing from the book which I'd like to add my own spin to:
John and Cindy McCain receive fulsome praise throughout the book from Palin, him as a brave American hero and her as a mix of elegant lady and Every Mom.
An American hero who Palin was more than happy to step over in order to gain popularity. And nothing says everyday mom like a spoiled rich pill popper, right Governor beauty queen Sarah?
Taking issue with what she said was Schmidt’s attempt to get her a nutritionist, Palin observes: “As he lectured, I looked at his rotund physique and noted that he used nicotine to keep his own cognitive connections humming along.”
I love how judgemental Palin can be one minute and yet ask for sympathy when the mirror is turned on her. How old was your daughter in the MySpace photos showing her drinking? How much did you sell the previous governor's airplane for? How was your brother-in-law fired as a cop again?
“This picture says it all,” Palin writes in the caption. “A dark hotel room in Philadelphia and a frustrated Mark Wallace trying to tell me which of his non-answers I should give during debate prep.”
Sarah, your debating was all fluff! Without those non-answers, you had nothing. If you'd listen to McCain's camp, you may have actually of won your debates. Christ, the times you "went rogue," you sounded like an idiot. And onto the Katie Couric issue...
Palin accuses Couric of having gone easier on Democratic vice presidential nominee Joe Biden, and twice claims that the newswoman’s own clothing stylist was actually part of the team hired by the GOP to outfit the vice-presidential candidate for the campaign.
Yes, this is true. Instead of asking Joe Biden where he gets his news, she asked him his favorite color.

I unfriended her when I was funemployed because she was always sexting while intexticated and she was a choice mom birther.

The word of the year by the New Oxford American Dictionary is "unfriend." So basically, if you don't have a Facebook account, you don't know what the word of the year means. Brilliant. I gt how these words of the years announcements always seem to hiighlight the buzzworthy words in the lexicon, but are these truly words that anyone will remember in 5 to 10 years? Does anyone actually use these words? Here's a list of other words that seem hip and cool to New Oxford American Dictionary but will probably get you an azz beating a strange look from people when uttered aloud:
tramp stamp: (wasn't this coined years ago?) when a women puts a bullseye on her back...see above photo for example

funemployed: when someone gets fired and can't get hired anywhere else, they watch bad tv and read books

sexting: sluts texting sluts

deleb: a dead celebrity (I think this one was made up...)

hashtag: something to do with twitter

freemium: making getting something for free sound dorky

choice mom: the PC way of saying single mom

intexticated: texting while driving?

birther: someone who thinks Obama was born outside of the U.S.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Bad sex

You know the sex scene in a movie is bad when it makes you rethink why you were looking forward to the movie in the first (bascially for the sex scenes). Here's a list of movies who fit this category perfectly. I'd like to add Basic Instinct 2 while we're at it! Whatta waste.

Subway $5 foot-longs a fluke

Interesting article explaining how the Subway chain came up with their successful $5 foot-long campaign from franchises who were innovative and cheap.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Sarah Palin on Oprah

Here's Carrie Prejean's hero doing what she does best! Er, what is that exactly? Looking and sounding like a moron, of course! Below is a clip of her saying no one knew (neither her nor her campaign) that her infamous interview with Katie Couric was something to be concerned about. Yeah, because saying you read "all of newspapers and magazines" to get your news is a savvy answer.

How great is it that a dumb lumberjack, hockey bum is the father of her illegitimate grandchild and will now be showing his dong on film to make some cash for knocking up other bitches diapers and baby food? That sh*t just writes itself.

Prejean: a primadonna on Larry King

Carie Prejean goes on Larry King with a book to promote and has a problem when he asks a legit questions that is in no way confidential ("What is your motivation for settling?"). Whether Carrie Prejean was unfairly treated during and after the Miss America pageant is debatable. (Personally, I don't fault her for her opinion on gay marriage and it was a loaded question.) However, her actions and the revelations from her personal life (skinhead brother, sex tape with an ex, etc.) have demonstrated that she's clearly not someone who should've been representing the USA in any way. And what bothers me the most about her (and many of her conservative counterparts) is her lack of accepting responsibility. She answered stalwartly and boastfully honestly at the pageant, but yet it is the media's fault. She made a sex tape, but she's not a complete whore it's not her fault. She sues for religious discrimination, but she's a sanctimonious Aryan-nation slut it's not her fault.

And of all people to pull this on: Larry King? Lady, you're not that big of a guest for him. And consider yourself lucky he asked those questions to keep your 15 minutes running. Being a dumb b*tch is the most interesting thing about you!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Droid to overtake iPhone?

Based on recent write-ups, not likely anytime soon. But Droid seems like a good alternative if Apple and AT&T aren't for you (or me).

The basics:
Both the 16GB iPhone 3GS and the Motorola Droid (which goes on sale Nov. 6, and comes bundled with a bundled 16GB microSD memory card) sell for $199 with a two-year contract. (If you buy the Droid through Verizon, it's actually $299 with a $100 mail-in rebate; you can also get the Droid at Best Buy for $199, no mail-in rebate required). Each phone also requires a $30-month 3G service plan. Also, both phones come with Wi-Fi, Bluetooth, GPS, 3.5mm headset jacks, and (of course) 3G support.

Look and feel:
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, of course, so you'll have to decide for yourself which phone wins the most style points. Personally, I happen to prefer the iPhone's sleek lines, slim profile, and relatively light weight. But while the Droid is a bit sharper and boxier, it has a bigger (3.7-inch), sharper display, and at just 0.5 inches thick, it's the slimmest QWERTY slider I've ever laid eyes on. The Droid tips the scales at 6 ounces, nearly an ounce heavier than the iPhone, but it fits quite nicely in a jeans pocket.

Input method:
This one's pretty obvious. For the iPhone, you do all your tapping and messaging on the virtual, on-screen QWERTY keypad, while the Droid has a physical, slide-out QWERTY keypad. Which one's better? Well, that'll mainly depend on your preference. Personally, I've gotten so used to virtual keypads that I often found myself tapping on the Droid's screen even though I had a slide-out QWERTY at my disposal. Then again, at least you have a choice with the Droid; the iPhone, of course, has no physical keypad at all. That said, keep in mind that the keys on the Droid's roomy keypad are so flat that they're almost slippery; yes, you get used to it, but there's a learning curve. Winner: Tie

Google's Android UI has come a long way in just a year, and with its speedy processor and first-on-the-market implementation of the new Android 2.0, the Droid does a great job of showing off what Android is capable of. I also love the Droid's ability under Android to let you add live widgets—be they for weather, sports, the music player, Facebook, or Twitter—to the phone's home screen, and arrange them in any way you so choose. But while the iPhone's interface isn't quite as flexible as the Droid's, it's unmatched at doing what it does. On the iPhone 3GS in particular, windows, menus, lists, and apps open smoothly and instantaneously, and you're never at a loss about what to do next. Peppy though it is, the Droid's UI still feels a big sluggish in comparison.

The iPhone's touch-enabled calling interface couldn't be any easier to use, and it'll even wirelessly hook into your iCal contacts if you're willing to shell out $100 a year for a MobileMe subscription. But the Droid arrives with the ability to automatically pull in all your Google and Facebook contacts, for free, and you can also use the downloadable Google Voice app (still unavailable for iPhone) to receive calls from a single Google Voice number, as well as send free text messages and place cheap international calls. Then there's the issue of which network—AT&T or Verizon Wireless—you want to be on. Your mileage will vary depending on your coverage area, of course, but if I had a nickel for every call my AT&T-bound iPhone has dropped, well ... Winner: Droid

Music and video:
Yes, the Droid comes loaded with a basic music player, and there's also a free podcast application ("Listen") for download over the Android Marketplace, but neither can hold a candle to the iPhone's best-in-class, touch-enabled iPod player. And while the Droid packs in a streaming YouTube app, same as the iPhone, it doesn't come with a build-in video player—that you'll have to find (and probably pay for) via the Marketplace, (I prefer the 99-cent Act 1 Video player, by the way). Indeed, the Droid doesn't even support the streaming video clips on Verizon's V Cast service. The iPhone, on the other hand, plays video out of the box, and you can also rent movies or buy TV episodes over-the-air via iTunes. This one's a no-brainer.

Mapping and navigation:
You can't beat the iPhone's Google-powered Maps app when it comes to ease of use, smooth operation, and overall slickness (slickosity?), but the Droid's mapping features under Android 2.0 pack more punch. Not only do you get the same basic searching and point-to-point direction features, but you also get the digital compass-aided Street View (which automatically changes the Street View perspective depending on the direction in which you're holding the phone), layers for traffic, satellite view, transit lines, and Wikipedia, and—best of all—Google's new Navigation app with voice-aided, turn-by-turn directions, just like you'd expect from an in-car navigation system. Great stuff—and free, to boot. Equivalent GPS navigation apps for the iPhone, on the other hand, all come with either monthly fees, exorbitant price tags, or both.

Web browsing:
The Droid's solid, touch-enabled Web browser is nothing to sneeze at, and come next year, it's slated to add support for Flash-powered videos and embedded content. But the Droid's browser doesn't support such handy features as multi-touch gestures (for "pinching" or zooming text on a Web page, for example), and it's not immune to sudden crashes, jerky scrolling, or jumbled HTML rendering. Meanwhile, the iPhone's Web browser—Flash-less though it is, for now—makes for the smoothest, speediest, and most seamless browsing experience you'll find on a smartphone.

The iPhone's middling camera has been its Achilles heel (or one of them, anyway) ever since it launched, and the iPhone 3GS's 3-megapixel, auto-focus snapper is only marginally better. The Droid, however, boasts a 5MP camera with auto-focus, a dual LED flash for night shots, and image stabilization, not to mention sharp (if not quite "DVD quality") video recording. The Droid's snapshots might not measure up to, say, the gorgeous photos you can get from the Nokia N97 or the Samsung Memoir on T-Mobile, but it easily bests the often-murky pictures that the iPhone cranks out, particularly in low-light conditions.

Pretty much an even playing field here, especially since AT&T finally enabled picture messaging for the iPhone. Both the Droid and the iPhone now support corporate Exchange accounts, not to mention push e-mail, Web accounts (like Gmail, of course, Yahoo!, AOL, etc.), and POP/IMAP mailboxes. Both handsets do threaded messaging for SMS and picture messages, but neither has a unified inbox for all your e-mail accounts and text messages (the Android- and MotoBlur-powered Motorola Cliq does, but the Droid doesn't).

The Android Marketplace is undeniably growing at a steady clip, with about 10,000 free and paid apps now available for download, including some (like Google Voice) that you won't find on iTunes (or at least, not yet). But who are we kidding: Apple's App Store has close to one hundred thousand apps, including a wide selection of cutting-edge mobile games (Real Racing, Doom: Resurrection, F.A.S.T. Modern Combat: Sandstorm, for starters), productivity apps (like DataViz's Docs to Go), communication (Skype, now over 3G), social networking (Facebook, MySpace, Foursquare), sports, weather, navigation ... the list goes on. The Android Marketplace may be gaining momentum, but the App Store has a massive head start.

Battery life:
The iPhone's become notorious for its iffy battery life, and for good reason. There are days when my iPhone barely limps past dinnertime, and that's after only moderate use, and since the iPhone battery is sealed inside the case, you can't swap in a fresh one when you're on the road. The Droid, on the other hand, does has a user-replaceable battery, and its battery life is pretty solid; in my tests, it made it though nearly six hours of voice calls on a single charge. Watch out for those multitasking Android apps, though. I unwisely elected to allow IM+, an instant messaging application, to stay connected while the phone was asleep; an hour later, the red-hot Droid was burning a hole in my pocket, and its battery capacity had plunged to just 25 percent. Oops.

Cornell sex scandal

A scandal broke last week where 2 employees at Cornell University accidentally sent a private email thread to the entire University. The big problem? It was an email thread detailing their affair with each other (both are separately married) and how little work they get donw during the day. Lazy sluts!

Click on the link to view the entire thread, which is quite entertaining, I must say. One of the gems emailed during their workday:
And I will be SO F*CKING HORNY after I get done SPANKING that FINE A*S of yours for hours, you’ll be FULL for a week after you swallow me! And I hear that C*M is an excellent source of protein, as well as other nutrients!!!

Class all the way! The link also shows a photo of a gentleman and a lady these two pathetic, white trash cheaters.

I can't decide what's more sad: reading how the woman is tired of her kids and her home life OR reading how much a grown man gets into being tickled. Seriously, this guy goes from bj to tickle torture every second he gets. True torture is knowing these two idiots were paid for six hours of freaky deaky forplay.

Clash of the Titans trailer

This makes me think of saying "not your mom and dad's Clash of the Titans," except that I was a kid when it came out and am now old enough to have a kid saying "not my mom and dad's." Whatever. Looks like a coll updated remake.

Where's the robot owl though?!!!