Saturday, February 28, 2009

Goodbye books-on-tape

Not like people read anything besides text messages anymore. But, this is a cool idea: downloading books for free online or on mobile phones using 3G. Too bad I don't have the upgraded phone yet for mobile Wowio. How can you go wrong when Slaughterhouse-Five is the #3 top download.

St. Patrick's Day Drinker's Troubleshooting Guide

Let's start the St. Pat's countdown, shall we? Even if it is a wee tad early, brother! ST. PAT'S TROUBLESHOOTING GUIDE: don't leave home without it.

Friday, February 27, 2009

Another reason to hate the iUniverse.

Aren't Mac users (now that I'm partially one, I'll put my judgements out there...) supposed to be creative, non-corporate types? Why then would Apple be such a killjoy? Hell, the application is for THEIR phone. It's not like they were designing for the Blackberry.

To watch the Bears play the Lions?


Somebody call Mensa. From the Shutdown Corner: a Bears fan watched a game on a wireless connection (while on a cruise) and didn't expect the huge bill. Ashton, you're not exactly helping your dumbass, pretty boy image.

Who spends time watching tv while on a cruise? And as soon as you board in the port?

Variety watches the Watchmen

Variety has a decent review up. Basically, if you're a fan of the novel, the film won't wow you, but won't crush you either.

"Yet the movie is ultimately undone by its own reverence; there’s simply no room for these characters and stories to breathe of their own accord, and even the most fastidiously replicated scenes can feel glib and truncated. As “Watchmen” lurches toward its apocalyptic (and slightly altered) finale, something happens that didn’t happen in the novel: Wavering between seriousness and camp, and absent the cerebral tone that gave weight to some of the book’s headier ideas, the film seems to yield to the very superhero cliches it purports to subvert."
Seem like the WB corporate suits managed to tweak the film to make it more family friendly. Too bad. Maybe the Veidt's "success" will be in the sequel...

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Ode to In Living Color

VH1 just had a countdown on the 90's...again. On the non-boring side, they mentioned In Living Color and it made me think of the skits below. My personal favorites:











Stream of consciousness moment...

...I posted the new Depeche Mode video the other day and basically said it was awesome. Now, the video has been pulled, thanks to EMI Why do recording companies and movie houses screw themselves by eliminating "word-of-mouth buzz?

Eh, f*ck Depeche Mode then. These videos were just as good (if not better), in the same stylized story vain, without the so-so song...


Stream of consciousness moment...

...I posted the new Depeche Mode video the other day and basically said it was awesome. Now, the video has been pulled, thanks to EMI saying, "Hey that's ours, so don't watch this." Why do recording companies and movie houses screw themselves by eliminating "word-of-mouth buzz? I get music sharing and pirate dvds stealing revenue because people never pay to be in "possession" of material/art/goods. But, posting material is the equivalent of an ad, right? It actually makes me aware that Depeche Mode has new music and makes me want to check them out, right?

Guess I'll need to return my corporate suit.

Lost Untangled: Jeremy Bentham = the wimpy Locke

Watchmen can't save everyone

The bad news? An early review of the new Watchmen movie sucks. (grammatical typo, but I'm leaving it)

The good news? The reviewer has never read the original graphic novel and can't even find the humor in the subtle ironies. I mean, superheroes (costumed avengers) who have no real powers? A superhero named Rorschach? And his costume is a constantly changing Rorschach inkblot? Genius! And the reviewer doesn't comprehend how apropos the political satire is to today's current geo-global politics (i.e. Cold Wars with more than just Russia, war being good for business, mass genocide for the greater good, ethnic cleansing).

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Depeche Mode - WRONG



UPDATE: EMI pulled the video. Guess they want Depeche to flop. Oh well, song isn't that good anyway. The video is cool, if you can find it.

UPDATE 2: adding the video again. Hope it sticks this time.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Latest technology news

I posted this for a couple of reasons:

  1. It summarizes the whole Facebook TOS debacle.

  2. It announces a cool, new eco-phone.

  3. It mentions plans for a universal phone charger that will eliminate electrical waste while eliminating everyone stockpiling several different charges throughout the house...

  4. ...while slamming Apple for not supporting the idea of universal charger.

Is it Spring yet? Tired of snow.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Tight tweetin' on Twitter

After watching this ABC GMA Weekend video on Twitter, I decided it might help my posts by staying up to date with technology. The down side? I'm pretty boring when out and about on my Crackberry. Maybe having an outlet will change that!??

Twitter: microblogging on the go (http://abcnews.go.com/video/playerIndex?id=6928447)

Friday, February 20, 2009

Got cupcakes?

Stains' owners shouldn't let that snooty English chick tempt him with a platter of cupcakes. Dog abuse! Who wouldn't go into a trance to protect their mind and stomach from exploding?!

Stains The Crazy Eyes Cupcake Dog

Senator Buttars talks nuts


"And you say that around here now and everybody goes nuts. But I don't care...They're the meanest buggers I have ever seen...They're probably the greatest threat to America going down I know of."
Nuts? Going down? Sounds like you have something on your mind Senator Buttars...

Santelli: the CNBC angry dude other than Kramer

Here's a recent "Rant of the Year" video that's becoming a quick viral phenom on the net:



  1. If this guy actually knew anything, he would know that giving Americans $8 a paycheck is a sound economic concept. When people receive large sums of money, they're more likely to save (which will not help stimulate the economy). Smaller amounts are usually spent quickly with expenses, which is what needs to happen with a stimulus plan: amp up spending!

  2. From a street smart point of view: if your neighbor's house was on fire, would you let it burn or would you help stop it so the fire doesn't reach your house? Same principle here. Many of us still might be doing OK in this economy, but that doesn't mean there couldn't be tough times for EVERYONE in the future, especially if nothing is done now.


Brokers are such a-holes. Shut up and do another line of coke with your putana, guido!

It's a Barbie world.

In honor of Barbie's 50th anniversary (birthday?), a new book is out about the history of Barbie and the woman (a Mattel co-founder) who introduced America and the world to her. An interesting tidbit is Barbie and Ken were named after the woman's kids...and they are still not happy about it.

Bristol Palin on being a dumb, teenage, single MILF with no self-respect.

Like mother, like daughter when it comes to the spotlight. Bristol Palin, the 18 year old daughter of Sarah Palin, did an interview this week to discuss life as a young mother. In the interview, she was quoted saying:
"I wished it could have happened in like, 10 years so I could have a job and an education and be, like, prepared and have my own house and stuff."
She also goes on to say that abstinence is "not realistic at all." I guess they're like mother, like daughter in stupidity too. You regret getting pregnant, but you don't regret having pre-marital, unsafe, unprotected sex? (Let's not kid ourselves that she was on the pill or a condom was used.)

It's laughable that she thinks (and that Grandma Palin approves her telling the media...) that being abstinent at 17 years old is "unrealistic." Seriously? If it's unrealistic to be a virgin at 17 years old, what kind of self-respect and moral compass does she have?

Hey Bristol, here's something realistic for you: you should advocate that other teens have the self-respect to not "give it up" as easily as you did or advocate that they protect their health if they decide the time is right for them to not be abstinent.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Lost Untangled: Episode 316

This is pretty funny, if you watch Lost. I'll try to remember to post these weekly. Who knew?

My hero.

Lost cake

I like the shows Lost and Ace of Cakes, so I had to post a link to the cake the Ace of Cakes crew made for Lost's 100th episode.

Video of hysterical woman

I think this woman just found out Facebook changed their TOS (twice).

9000 new jobs to be created soon!

Good to know there's jobs being created out there. Unfortunately, jobs making artery clogging chicken. Mmm, now I want KFC.

Supertrooper

Going back to my posting on George Lucas crushing childhood memories by padding his wallet. There is one plus to the Star Wars marketing machine: rollplaying in bed.

Stormtrooper Seksi reporting for duty!

Which would you watch more? I know my choice!

Who needs Dancing With the Stars when PBS has Dancing With Vaginas?

Facebook privacy not guaranteed?

There's been a lot of debate about the security of information a user posts on Facebook. In a nutshell, the social networking website, Facebook, changed its user disclosure statement last week to state that even after you close your Facebook account, Facebook has the right to keep all of your profile content archived for future use. The concern over this has to due with EVERY other social networking and video/photo posting service never having such a disclosure in their privacy statements.

In my personal opinion, once you put something on the web, its out there in the public domain (with the exception of copywritten content, in which case you've appealed that the law protect your intellectual property from being used for someone else's monetary gain). Would I be pissed if a photo of mine wound up used in a Facebook marketing campaign? Sure, but this is happens all the time with web marketing services and at least Facebook is announcing they plan on doing it. Would I be angry if ads were to target me? Yep, which is why I don't add too much personal information. But there's actually other Facbook privacy violations that are much more potentially exploited. In the end, users need to be responsible for the content they put out there and be more aware of how to protect themselves.

I'm going to post some other links on the subject and let you investigate if you have concerns:


Media bias? Yep and no shame to it.

Should we really blame them for jumping ship? It's not like all of us wouldn't do the same for job security. So what if it's in syncopation with an American President who talks about healthcare and education rather than terrorism and oil. Duh, who would you rather work for? Lastly, why wouldn't journalists be more aamenable to working for a Democratric President? Journalists are marked with a scarlet letter labeled all the time by conservatives for being too biased towards liberal agendas. Republicans throw them under the bus and then are shocked when they try to hold on for an escape ride?

How to secure your money!

While staying on the subject of the economy, I want to take a moment to show you how to protect your assets in this economy. Nothing is secure at this point and you may need to take matters in your own hands. Protect your family at all costs! For example, here's me and my wife practicing a drill for when looters kick in our front door to steal our money, flatscreens, and iPhones:

Take the kids, not our stuff!

Unemployment numbers in early 2009

It's still shocking to me how badly this economy is still spiraling down. I hope it doesn't ever hit levels as low as The Great Depression, but some of the key indicators are indicating it could be. Here's some latest U.S. numbers that will cause a great depression for you and me:
  • the number of U.S. people receiving regular unemployment benefits rose 170,000 to 4.99 million for the week ending Feb. 7


  • the claims figure also was significantly above the year-ago level of 2.77 million


  • an additional 1.5 million people are receiving benefits under an extended unemployment compensation program approved by Congress last year, bringing the total number of people receiving unemployment benefits to 6.54 million for the week ending Feb. 7

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Oil prices up, for no good reason

Just as I post about how no one is noticing the pump prices for gas creeping up again, ABC news has a blurb about it. You can check it out HERE. In a nutshell, their rationale is that prices have increased because oil production has decreased due to low demand. That may be true, but that doesn't make it right. God forbid oil companies NOT make billions in profit annually...even while the rest of the planet is suffering fiscally too. People are hurting financially and not driving as much, so oil companies raise prices?

Sounds like price gauging to me!

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

25 Best Blogs list

Time magazine also published a list of the 25 Best Blogs. Some interesting choices. Definitely worth checking out.

George Lucas: Sith or Jedi?

As a child of the 70's (and a young boy in the early 80's), Star Wars changed my life. No other movies have impacted my life more than Episodes IV-VI. I can vividly remember being Star Wars characters 3 times for Halloween (C3PO, Han, Boba), had EVERY Star Wars figure, Star Wars lunchbox, Empire sleeping bag. I even still have Empire themed wrapping paper (circa 1983) framed on my wall!

With all that said, I gotta say I'm on the bandwagon to crucify George Lucas for ruining those memories. Where I disagree with everyone is WHEN he ruined the memories. Many fans claim the release of cheesy, over-produced Episodes I-III was the downfall. For me it was when Lucas "remastered" the first released movies by adding new scenes. Why mess with movies that made gazillions of dollars and made millions of fans happy? To insert scenes that had no impact other than to draw attention to the fact that they weren't a part of the originally released films. Great job.



I guess I'm a bit of a chump falling for all of the marketing around Star Wars when I was a kid. For some reason, it felt less forced and more like a pop culture phenomenon. If you've seen any blatant marketing for the Clone Wars cartoons in recent months, you'll note the difference.

Saturday Night Live Dead?


Of course as soon as I post a bunch of SNL clips and make a statement saying some clever skits have appeared lately, an article is published saying how bad SNL has been this year. What? Now, is it as good as past casts in the late 70's and early 90's? No, of course not. But, the additions of wacky comics like Kristen Wiig, Andy Samberg, Jason Sudeikis and Abby Elliott has added more edge to the show recently. The problem with the show is that there was so much talent in the early 90's cast, that when they started transitioning to movies, the show started catering to skits featuring characters that could be made into SNL produced movies (i.e "Night at the Roxbury," "Superstar," "Ladies Man").

After this past season, with bringing Tina Fey back as Sarah Palin, how can someone say the show is dead when those viral video skits may have influenced the election outcome?

25 24 People to Blame for the Financial Crisis

Time magazine just released a list of 25 People to Blame for the economic collapse. One of the people on that list, former President Bill Clinton, just released a statement to reject the notion that he should be lumped in with men like former President George Bush, former Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan and the Countrywide CEO.

Per the Time mag piece:

"President Clinton's tenure was characterized by economic prosperity and financial deregulation, which in many ways set the stage for the excesses of recent years.
Clinton set the stage of excess by making the economy booming. Times were great! I think he deserves credit for that rather than blame for things that happened AFTER he was impeached (that he had no control over nor could foresee).

"Among his biggest strokes of free-wheeling capitalism was the Gramm-Leach-Bliley Act, which repealed the Glass-Steagall Act, a cornerstone of Depression-era regulation. He also signed the Commodity Futures Modernization Act, which exempted credit-default swaps from regulation."
This bill was never debated by the House or Senate. In substance, it appears that the leadership of the Republican-controlled Senate and House incorporated the deregulation of credit default swaps into an omnibus budget bill (without hearings or recorded votes)at a time when the outgoing president was in no position to veto anything.

In 1995 Clinton loosened housing rules by rewriting the Community Reinvestment Act, which put added pressure on banks to lend in low-income neighborhoods.
Because passing legislation to help lower-income Americans obtain the American dream home is such a bad concept. How could Clinton foresee that banks and mortgage companies would use such legislation to pimp suggest high risk ARM loans and second-tier loans to lower-educated lower income borrowers?

"It is the subject of heated political and scholarly debate whether any of these moves are to blame for our troubles, but they certainly played a role in creating a permissive lending environment."
2 of the bills referenced in this article were passed in December 2000: after Clinton's impeachment, during his lame duck period until Bush was sworn in and at a time when both houses of Congress were Republican majorities. So, how is he to blame exactly?

Anyone hungry for red herring? Get it straight: Clinton f*cked his intern, not the economy!

Getting jacked by big oil companies...AGAIN!

I know, way to state the obvious and there's no point being shocked. But still, I have to ask: why are oil prices going up at the pump if oil crude prices keep dropping? Can it be a more blatant example of price gauging? I think I'm more upset because no one complains until gas gets over $3.50 a gallon. Then, Americans start complaining about how they've had to cut back, can't drive places as much and have financial hardship because of their gas payments. Where are the outcries when the small, incremental increases are happening? The truth is no one cares notices until they're forced to.

When are people going to more of an emphasis on independence from oil?
  • Public transit instead of driving

  • Drink nalgene bottles with filtered water instead of bottled water

  • Buy local products (cuts semi truck emissions)

  • Recycle everything possible

Stop oil companies from stealing cash from your wallet. They're having record high profits while the rest of the modern world is getting crushed in a new economic depression.

Wii need to workout together.

I found this photo while searching for pics for all of my Wii Fit soapbox posts. not sure who she is or why she's the Wii workout girl, but the Wii Fit looks to be working for her. Maybe it's the jello shots that work for her?


Is there booby holding game on the Wii Fit? Cause if so, I may change my view of it.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Multipurpose pampers

Gameshow host with the most

SNL has been a roll lately. I think they have some good talent on there now with some edgy writing. Kind of reminds me of the early 90's skits with farley/rock/myers/spade/sandler.

Playing with my Wii

Shake the sack to empty it!

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Microsoft 3000: don't upgrade yet.

I had a roommate in college who was a HUGE fan of Mystery Science 3000. It wasn't enough for him to watch the show...or tape a VHS library of it. He scheduled classes around it! And while I have a healthy, robust sense of humor, I just didn't get it. Worse: I thought it was the opposite of funny. Inserting obvious one-liners into movies is the equivalent of video Mad Libs. And remember how young you were when you thought Mad Libs were funny and you thought you were so clever?

In any case, much to my dismay surprise, the MS3K (that's Mystery Science 3000 in geek-speak...which to me reads as "Microsoft 3000") guys are still at it. After at least 14 years. Seriously. 14 years of unfunny. Well, not sure why I'm providing this, but I found the website for their non-hilarious antics. Commenting on Dark Knight, Transformers and Fantastic Four movies. Their website boasts: "We don't make movies. We make them funny."
  1. No shit.

  2. No, you don't.
Is it any wonder these guys never went on to be big named comedy writers? Watch a clip or two and see what I mean. These guys can't be making money from this, right?

On the plus side (and why I'm posting about this), you and your friends will seem like comedians who need to quit their dayjobs because stardom awaits.

This is why I drink Diet Coke Plus.


OK, I don't drink Diet Coke Plus. Vitamins in cola must taste like contradiction. I hope people like getting healthy while drinking cola, because the multivitamins they're popping aren't doing anything, according to some recent studies. This article post on Yahoo! summarizes that vitamins aren't worth taking, unless you have special circumstances.
"Folic acid supplements in women who are pregnant or plan to become pregnant...Supplements that contain more vitamin D and calcium than is present in regular multivitamin pills can help older men, and especially women, avoid osteoporosis and bone fractures...Supplements of vitamins C and E, beta-carotene, zinc, and copper may slow the progression of vision loss in people with early macular degeneration. And multivitamins are beneficial for some entire groups of people:
those on a very-low-calorie weight-loss diet
strict vegetarians
heavy alcohol drinkers
individuals who are not getting an adequate diet because they are too sick or too poor--or live by themselves and are unable to prepare proper meals for themselves"
Yeah, because when someone is poor or alone, popping multivitamins is right at the top the list of things to do. And don't the above demographics account for 99% of the population? While I think we all know there's a lot of crap out there on store shelves that won't help you live longer or better, I can't believe doctors would advocate NOT taking a daily vitamin.
"No one denies that an adequate intake of vitamins is essential; however, vitamins can and should be obtained from eating enough healthy foods rather than from swallowing vitamin supplements."
There's a growing global obesity problem due to overprocessed food consumption. Shouldn't doctors appreciate that if someone is taking a daily supplement (and isn't poor, alone, drunk, pregnant or a vegetarian) they at least care enough about their health to give it some thought?

Whatever. When does Grey Goose Plus hit the shelves!

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Happy Valentine's Day?

Wii Fit: retaliation


I posted last week about various articles online criticizing the Wii Fit's weight-loss claims and athletic boasting. Well, there was a backlash and some of the retaliation responses were posted online. You can go HERE to read them. IMO they seem like isolated cases, except for the pediatric physical therapy argument, which I would like to believe. I found an article about the Wii Fit being used for post-operative rehab too, which is a cool idea.

But for the folks who use the Wii Fit to get off the couch for 10 to 30 minutes, the money spent on the console, board and games would've bought you weights, a bench, mat and swiss ball. Money better spent for legit weight-loss. I mean, maybe if they wore workout clothes I might be convinced. But there no way people are working out hardcore in jeans and skirts! Check out some of these athletes I found on Flickr:

Perfect warm-up before I hit da club!

Lookout Vail!

I'm going to be a better lover now. Thanks Wii Fit!

F*ck spinning. The Wii Fit has me looking H-O-T.

Walking a tightrope is totally easy.

Yoga on a Friday night.

I'm killing it on the half-pipe with a half-moon!

I don't want to be mean and pick on people, but I'm angry that yet another gimmicky item (see my Snuggie post) is flying off shelves (I know people wait-listing the Wii Fit!) because people are so quick to hop on the latest technology bandwagon without thinking: is this worth the extreme pricetag?

Comic within graphic novel The Watchmen comes to anime.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Recession survival kit

Yep, you can survive the recession without spending a dime of your own money or government money. Here's how!

You will need to gather the following.


Assemble items as shown.


Apply as shown.


You don't need the kit to survive? Then assemble the kit for your favorite GOP friend. It's cheap and not effective: they'll love it!

Stimulating the soapbox

I haven't posted much on politics since the election (with the exception of emphasizing Sarah Palin's stupidity) because I want this to be a fun blog. Politics can get serious real fast, even when parodying. But, I felt the need to comment on recent events with the economy and the recent stimulus package. I'll try to be brief and to the point:

After spending $596,690,000,000 (and growing) on the Iraq war and cutting tax rebate checks for every American, how dare Republicans and fiscal conservatives preach frugalness and criticize wasteful spending!!

(BTW, that $596 billion figure is from THE COST OF WARwebsite.) Take a look in the mirror, Repubies. I just don't understand how someone in good conscience can turn a blind eye to an extremely wasteful situation like the war spending, then turn-around to chastise the new stimulus plan as a bad idea.
"The bill that was about jobs, jobs, jobs has turned into a bill that's about spending, spending, spending,"
You know, because trying to keep people in their homes and give them jobs is such a waste. Somebody needs to remind selfish GOP "conservatives" about The New Deal.

What am I saying? The U.S. is about dropping bombs and killing people for oil, not spending money on Socialism, right?

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Octoplets website: their mom wants your money!


Posting about the Octoplets' mother (Octo-mom) is like posting about Sarah Palin: I really don't want to, but the stories seem to get more ridiculous everyday and these ladies seem to crave the attention (and add fuel to the fire!). With that said, the latest story is that Octo-mom had started a website to ask for donations to help support her kids. This website is brand new and created after the fact that:
  • She has no job.

  • She lives at home with her parents.

  • She regularly uses food stamps and Medicare.

  • She has spent tens of thousands of dollars on in vitro fertilization...

  • Which resulted in 6 kids, previous to the octoplets...

  • Three of whom have special needs.

  • She allegedly has spent money on plastic surgeries. (See photo below.)

  • She has hired a publie relations team!
Seriously, I think this woman needs to be in a mental institution. There's something not right in your brain to put yourself (and helpless children!) in this situation.

Happy (early) Valentine's Day


V-day is approaching. Fellas: have you planned accordingly so you don't have to sleep on the couch this weekend? Ladies, have you dropped enough hints?

I'll use this opportunity to redirect you to the PostSecret website, one of my favorites. I find it fascinating that so many regular, ordinary people have so much going on beneath the surface of their life (good and bad). The postcard above is one of the good ones. Personal stories of glee, triumph, pity, sadness and fear.

Anyway, the above one is romantic, just in time for Valentine's Day. It reminds me of the last time I pulled a big, romantic surprise for my wife. I guess when I plan things in secret she always gets suspicious because I "act weird." And she wonders why I don't try to plan more surprises! Making fun of me after the fact isn't encouraging. And if I act weird, why does she keep wanting surprises?

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Wii Fit. U fit? Nah, you overweight.


Ever feel sure about something and then start to feel uneasy about the decision due to the sheer volume of support from other people who have advised you differently? That's how I feel about the Wii Fit. I've played various videogame systems my whole life (Atari, Commodore 64, Colecovision, Nintendo, Playstation), so when the Wii was released it sounded like a cool idea to an old habit. And THEN, the Wii Fit, which to me seemed like some reject product placement "Total Recall." "In the 25th Century, workout in your home!" Eh, like with dumbbells or a workout video?

Turns out, many people I know have Wii Fits. And it includes both gamers with other consoles and non-gamers who bought the Wii strictly for the Wii Fit. Which leads me back to my original thought: can so many people be right and me be wrong about the Wii Fit being a ridiculous concept? Is the Wii Fit more about getting healthy than just playing games (which is all I've ever thought it was good for)?

To my relief, there's been some battles/arguments back and forth online about whether or not the Wii Fit actually does make you more fit and healthier. Battles have included the Wii Fit not correctly evaluating people's BMI measurements and accusations the Wii Fit simply doesn't work. These battles make me feel better because obvious there are others out there no sold yet.

So, I'll state my rationale for why the Wii Fit just seems like a fad to me:

  1. From a scientific point of view, performing "athletic" tasks on a computer footboard will not burn as many calories as doing it in real life.

  2. The only reason, I can think of, for someone to want to snowboard or do pilates on the Wii Fit, other than real life, is not wanting to leave the house.

  3. Wouldn't a gym membership or sports lessons be cheaper than a Wii console, a Wii Fit board and the games needed?


I mean, do you look at the guy in this photo and think he looks cool?

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Put ur sk8s away.


As a father, I go back and forth as to how much technology is too much technology for kids. On the one hand, kids have resources now that we didn't as kids ourselves and they need to keep up with the times. Additionally, the world is faster now and the old ways to learn don't exist anymore. On the other hand, why force technology when your kids will be exposed to it eventually? And is it even possible to buy toys or instructional tools without lights, sounds or buttons?

That all being said, I saw this article from the New York daily news about a new device Leap Frog developed to teach kids 3 years old and up how to "text" message. Now, it doesn't really send text messages, but rather teaches kids how to type on a pda/smartphone-like device. In that respect, it's no different than a Speak n' Spell, right? My main objection has more to do with a quote from the article itself:
"I would definitely consider getting one for Pete - in the vain hope it would keep him away from my cell, which he thinks is the seventh wonder of the universe,"
Why is it so hard to tell your kid that a cell phone isn't a toy? That its "mommy's" or "daddy's" and they can't play with it? Instead of teaching them limits, we buy kids a kiddy version hoping it'll delay their craving for little while longer. Genius. How about being a parent to begin with and telling your kid "no?"

Oh, and 3 years old is way too early to start kids down this road. School age (6 or 7) at the earliest, IMO. What do you think?

Invisible treehouse


This is cool and funny. The cool part is that some Swedes built an invisible treehouse that looks like something out of a sci-fi movie. This is some space-age looking tree living, right?

The funny part is the comments from the hippies in the comments section of the webpage. The article on this treehouse is on a site called "Treehugger," which was probably not the smartest idea for a story. Here's some of the hilarity from the comments section:

  • in what way is this even remotely related to sustainability?


  • you know what will be even more spectacular when this is built, all the pretty colored bird corpses that will be collecting under the tree.


  • where's the toilet?


  • They need to make these heavy duty, and send them out for the army.


  • Like another dimension in nature! I would like to have a forest getaway like this.


  • id throw rocks at it if i saw it


  • This would make a wonderful hunting blind.


  • this is a bird killer and also the monkeys and squirrels or whatever local critters that will fly toward illusionary branches.



Honestly, I don't know if birds will hit it or not. But I'd pay money to see a monkey swing into it. That'd be some viral video gold!

Can I be phat instead of fat?


Now I know I'm a sick mofo. The photo above is from a website called, quite simply, "This is why you're fat." Very self-explanatory: eat this stuff and you'll be fat. Sadly, some of these dishes look decent (see above). What the heck is wrong with me? Actually, what's really pathetic is that even some of the repulsive photos make me think, "Wow, that's friggin' genius!" Deep fried Mars bar? I've heard they're good. Hot dog wrapped in fries? Yep, makes sense. The garbage plate? After a night of drinking, I'm on it.

I've got issues.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Fish lips

So, of course I have to post the Goldie Hawn trailer for comparison. Watch her fish lips in the first 30 seconds of the 1996 movie trailer.

Octoplets mother interview clip

I hope this is the last posting I do on the Octoplets mother. I'm tired of giving her the attention she obviously craves. Yes, it's a compelling story, but in the end, it won't end well for those kids. I'm mainly posting this not to hear her story (because clearly she's crazy loco), but to witness her gigantic fish lips. She llooks like Goldie Hawn from the "First Wives Club" movie.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy.

Referring to "space madness" made me think of the brilliance known as Ren and Stimpy. Who knew Joost has a whole channel dedicated to airing Ren & Stimpy episodes? You check them out at your convenience. I know I will. I miss that show.

Here's a short reminder of it's wacky comedy. I can't believe this trippy stuff was on Nickelodeon!!

Hilarious commercials: 4 for 1

Iraq withdrawl soon? About freaking time!!!


President Obama is considering options for withdrawing troops from Iraq. I think we can all see now that invading Iraq under the red herring of WMD's was a mistake. Especially when most intel clearly did not show Osama bin Laden involved with Iraq or Saddam Hussein. But let's call a spade a spade: we're just wasting money staying over there and pissing off the Muslim world even longer. Let Iraq rebuild themselves and bring our troops home. They have to have space madness at this point. Er, wait. Desert madness.

Want to really not cheat?


Follow THIS link below and skim the angry article that follows. I found this scary warning while looking for funny "cheating" photos for the previous post. Holy crap! I half expect her to say you you boil a rabbit on your stove so your husband will really know he was wrong.
Stay away from men who are trying to console you. Men have a strange sense of women who are in desperation. They know. Avoid them. Don't befriend them. They have other plans in mind for you than just talking about your problems. Trust me. You know this in your gut, don't ignore it.

The big head thinking for the small head. Does that work?


I found an article about things to consider before cheating on your wife/girlfriend that I thought was funny. The article's not that funny and reads like it was written by a woman for Cosmo magazine. What's funny is the politically correct way the article rationalizes what you should think to not cheat. For example:
"Yes, traveling for business is lonely. Phone home for a bicoastal quickie."
Because nothing will make you "limp" faster than your wife NOT wanting to give a blowjob during phone sex either.

Or how about this:
"If a woman who knows you're spoken for comes on to you, it's flattering. It's tempting. But remember that she's doing it to feed her own ego, not yours."
Is "ego" code for something else?

"You're about to be with the kind of woman who wants to be with the kind of man who would cheat on a woman."
So, what's your point?

"Or, to paraphrase Neil Simon, do to yourself what you would otherwise do unto others."
Who knew there were so many flexible dudes with no gag reflex? Yep, thinking about them would get me out of the cheating mood!

"At the office party, pretend the coworker who's flirting with you has gonorrhea."
And genital warps. Yep, this will work. Anytime the wang can be damaged or hurt, the party's over. Time to go home and rub one out!

Dakota Fanning is not amused.

This photo was from the premiere of the new movie, Coraline.

If looks could kill, Dakota just gave Teri Hatcher's daughter a Columbian necktie.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Luckily, I have duct tape.


I have 3 of these crappily packaged sets. Guess I'm a sucker for bad marketing.

Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of silly persons!



Check out the Monty Python channel on YouTube. Very cool.

Speaking of crazy moms who crave attention...

It's the baby vulture! Run. Hide your kids.

Octoplets working the PR machine

Man, did I call this one! In an earlier posting, I mentioned how the octoplets' mother and grandmother seemed to want to get more attentioon for their situation. Low and behold, the mother has hired a publicist. Obviously, I'm not shocked since the octoplets seems to be the latest celebrity fodder. Not really a shocker. What is a shock to me is that all 14 of the mom's children were from in vitro procedures.

Suleman, who has six other children, is now the mother of 10 boys and four girls younger than 8. All were born by in vitro fertilization, her mother has said. Despite what might seem like an overwhelming number of children and despite her family's apparent financial difficulties, Suleman is "upbeat" about her future, Killeen said.

What makes me feel sorry for those kids is that they didn't ask to be brought into the world this way and didn't ask for these crazy people to be their caretakers. The mom gave no consideration as to the sacrifice needed (time, money, love or otherwise) needed for 14 kids to grow up feeling good about themselves and loved.

The more I hear about this story, the more sad I am. And don't even get me started about the $3 million pricetag the hosptial care will cost, because some quack doctor didn't determine that a single, poor mother with 8 kids shouldn't have any more embryos implanted.

Sick. Sad. Ridiculous.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

A Real American Hero...

...G.I.JOE is there. Ohhhhh, yeah. This is the one I was waiting for:

Future blockbusters

Two of the cooler summer movie ads from the Superbowl. Look great! Who knew Star Trek could look cool?...again.





Where's the hi-res GI Trailer? Weak.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Steelers got nerves o' steel


Congrats to the Steelers, who just won their 6th Superbowl. I gotta say it was a great game and went down to the wire, which NEVER happens during the Superbowl. Kurt Warner seems like a class act and threw the hell out of the ball today, despite not having the best receivers to work with. Harrison was the hero (100 yard return) and the villain (punching a special teams blocker) of the game.

That all said, how long 'til Spring Training?

Axe: not sure what it is (other than funny)

I used to see Axe commercials every once in a while on MTV or VH1 and figured they were ads for the current cheesy cologne dudes wear hoping it'll get their cherry popped. Much like Drakkar Noir back in the day. Drakkar. No wonder I was a virgin all through high school.

If young dudes are wearing Axe, I wouldn't blame them. Who knew Axe is popular outside of the U.S. and has a ton of hilarious commericals! Since the Puritanical States of America won't broadcast anything suggesting that adults get their freak on sometimes, you've probably never seen the below videos below. Enjoy, but be warned: they may cause you to move to Europe and wear cheesy body spray.











Happy Valentine's Day