I found an article about things to consider before cheating on your wife/girlfriend that I thought was funny. The article's not that funny and reads like it was written by a woman for Cosmo magazine. What's funny is the politically correct way the article rationalizes what you should think to not cheat. For example:
"Yes, traveling for business is lonely. Phone home for a bicoastal quickie."Because nothing will make you "limp" faster than your wife NOT wanting to give a blowjob during phone sex either.
Or how about this:
"If a woman who knows you're spoken for comes on to you, it's flattering. It's tempting. But remember that she's doing it to feed her own ego, not yours."Is "ego" code for something else?
"You're about to be with the kind of woman who wants to be with the kind of man who would cheat on a woman."So, what's your point?
"Or, to paraphrase Neil Simon, do to yourself what you would otherwise do unto others."Who knew there were so many flexible dudes with no gag reflex? Yep, thinking about them would get me out of the cheating mood!
"At the office party, pretend the coworker who's flirting with you has gonorrhea."And genital warps. Yep, this will work. Anytime the wang can be damaged or hurt, the party's over. Time to go home and rub one out!