Zac Efron's Pool Party crashed by Uncle Hank

Uncle Hank is the man I probably already am when I'm tanked but can't remember what I say or do aspire to be. He's my new hero.

Some gems for my next party:
1. "Who wants to play burn, rash or birthmark?"
2. "If I had a nickel for every boner you'd given me, I'd have $400 dollars. Whoops. And five cents."
3. "Only if I climb on my roof. And steal it from my cousin."
4. "What's the grossest thing you've ever done for money?"
5. "Oh, sorry about the hottub."

UNCLE HANK's Pool Party from Zac Efron