Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Old friends.

Tinking (typo, but I'm leaving it) about Miss Cleo reminded me of the only other infomercial I've sat and watched, in entirety, over and over again: The Magic Bullet informercial. Let's dissect this gem:

* The Scottish dude and his high maintenance wife (you know Mimi don't cook!) hosted a sleepover and now their houseguests are hungry. Forget actually using all of the appliances in that huge gourmet kitchen. All they need is the Magic Bullet to create food in intervals so that no one eats at the same time!

* Then the drunk, single friend/cousin/brother comes down with a hangover. He must've been drinking alone because everyone else is so happy I think they're faking being hungry and are actaully ready for sightseeing.

* Why are they so happy? Maybe this is an ad for getting friends together at someone's house, getting freaky all night and then waking up for breakfast? I get it. The Magic Bullet is a sex metaphor: "1,2,3 seconds is all it takes."

* Hazel pops in and you realize she hit the sauce last night too. Alone. Poor gal. If she'd of ditched the moo-moo and the cigs, I'm sure Vernon would've banged her. Although, it sounded like Mimi called him "Vermin." High maintenance bitch!

* What a wacky food demo: breakfast quickly turns into garlic, salsa, curry, mayo, BBQ from the night before. Who wants to look at and smell that crap after a night of swinging and couple swapping. Delicious!

* Then the story ends. Does anyone get to eat? Are plans made for another sleepover? I guess I'll never know until they're added to a list years from now, just like Miss Cleo.

Seriously, this shit should get permission to compete for the short film Academy Award. Instant classic!

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